the vague little entry that could.

it's a long way down from here. i hope i don't disappoint anyone by falling.

i'm peachy.

12th and Boardwalk

So, I have decided to update my blog, as per a not-really-request from john dipompeo.

well, since friday, things have looked up, down, and all around. friday was good...i spent the day doing stuff for the haunted house, which was a smashing success. We did quite well for ourselves and I think it would be wise to do it again next year...although after watching amy,i want to have no hand in planning it.

saturday was homecoming here at la salle, so i went down to the game to see my friends who were nominated for homecoming king and queen. two of my friends won, so i was pretty happy for them all. i also got to spend some time with alumni, which for me is always nice. after the game (actually, during the game because of the wind), me and elisa and angie visited kelly in the costume pit for a few hours and then angie, elisa, ali, and i hung out and got ready for jess' halloween party. this party (after the parking job from hell) was awesome. so much bonding and such...and sick. oh well.

on sunday, we woke up from our 'slumber' and left jess' for a breakfast trip to wawa and rehearsal. it was deep hurting. but my daddy brought me soup, candy, sauce, and a card from him and my mommy, so i was happy. i came home and watched 'father of the bride' again, had dinner, and did no work...which was not good for my extreme stress and anxiety.

today i woke up and ran out of the apartment to the library for class and had a relaxing day of classes. during presidential politics, mike called me three times to make sure that i was going to be coming back to the union before rehearsal for him to hang out with, like we do every monday and wednesday. it's nice to be needed and loved. i do feel needed and loved lately, which is nice. i was able to scratch a bunch of things off my list today and cap it all off with a wawa trip. i love my wawa people a whole bunch.

nothing on any other fronts (you know what i mean if you read this with any regularity). i would mention it if there was. thank god the other party is oblivious. phew. i almost don't want them to know.

this weekend promises good things...after paper tech, movie night with my wawa lovies. then all day rehearsal which sounds like torture, but it's a good bonding experience.

please comment...i love comments.

i'm peachy.

it's the little things...the little things.

today may have been the craziest / best day of my life.

so, i was a hobo...that was bad. i had to carry my crap around with me all day long. i was literally running all over campus until 2...then i had nothing to do until 3:30...then the running began again. rehearsal was eh for me...i was way off and my turns sucked and i'm afraid that tom is going to take them out or something (but i can do them! have faith in me!).

however, tonight was also wawa night. the night i look forward to every week. allison could not join us, so we took doug. really good times, even if i may have left my ID in john's car.

finally, to cap the night, a boy called me beautiful and told me that i had perfect skin. i don't mean this to brag or whatnot...but i haven't been told that by a boy who wasn't already my good friend...in a long time. i have never felt prettier so far this year. of course, the boy i'm talking about has a girlfriend and he seems pretty much in love with her. sigh.

i'm beautiful...and on cloud nine...obviously it doesn't take me much.

let's see where life takes me this weekend. except the haunted house...i hope it gets cancelled or something. boo.

i'm peachy!!!

another hundred people... or long entry alert.

megan, megan baby, meggie darling, megs i need your advice....

well, this break has certainly been interesting, if nothing else. it was relaxing and refreshing, but it was also somewhat of an eye opener. one of the people i was in theatre with here at home just set the date for her wedding. HER WEDDING! now, i realize that this is out of the ordinary and there are specific circumstances for their setting the date, but it still makes me think. also this weekend, one of my friends at la salle picked up a boyfriend. she just broke up with her boyfriend, and not two months later, she's attached again. me? nothing on that front. believe me. that will garner quite the journal entry of either surprise or something like it. my son and i were talking about this subject this evening, as we tend to do, and we face similar dilemmas. we are both constantly told that we will find someone (which i don't doubt, it's just that it gets hard to believe sometimes), we constantly worry about it, and (to top it all off) we are both ridiculously picky. after my last relationship, i am aware of exactly what i want in the boyfriend category. i'm not going to list this here (it's not an ad, you know), but i do know. some things are completely void of words and description...i just know that it does exist.

to answer the question that people have asked me, yes i do have feelings for certain people, but all those men (i guess i'm dating men now...they should be over 18) are completely unavailable or unattainable for one reason or another. this would figure wouldn't it. i don't want to rush anything either...that's always bad. it's just that at the end of the day, i want someone to walk me home, kiss me goodnight, and possibly be there for me to curl up with at night. i also wish i could skip the part where there's the awkwardness, the first kiss, the first of many moments. i just want to skip to the comfort zone. i want to sit in bed with "him" and read or whatever and he can read or watch tv or whatever and we're just....there.

frequently on the weekends, at no fault of my friends, i'm beginning to feel like bobby in "company" (which i've become entranced by this weekend). i get invited to hang out, but it's everyone, their significant others...and me. there have been a number of times this year where i'm the only single one in the room...and every one is with their better half at that moment. they can't help this...they want to be with their person...it's just that i'm alone. people tell me that "you should be happy that you've had a big relationship already". what? does this mean that i'm done? i peaked at 20? that can't be good. just because i had a boyfriend for a long time and we broke up doesn't mean that i should have to walk through life alone. that's not fair. life isn't fair, i know. but still. that's painful.

today my mom and i were talking about life and my future (which came out of a conversation similar to the one above) and i mentioned my thoughts on going to the british isles after graduation to live for a while. maybe wait for grad school or go over there...maybe teach or work there. i dunno. but part of me really wants to go. i love england and maybe that's where my prince charming is hiding (god willing, his name is harry or william and a dead mother named diana). all those romantic comedies i like take place in england, so maybe that's where i'm destined to find true love. however, i'd rather find it here in philly.

"someone to hold me too close...someone to know me too well...someone to hurt me too deep...someone to someone to sit in my chair and ruin my sleep and make me aware of being alive." - company / stephen sondheim.

i'm peachy.

and it has begun...

fall break has begun and i could not be happier. after a relaxing train ride (on which i watched "mary poppins") my mom picked me up and we went home. we just lazed around for a while and i helped my mom make a CD for her annual shopping trip with her sisters, mom, and my cousin (the unofficial rule is that you have to be 20 to go, but it doesn't suit for me this year...mom's going to make an effort for it to be in philly next year so i can go). then fred came over and we had dinner and went to the amc to see "man of the year" (i'm saving a review of that for my movie blog). it was funny, but very pointed as well. i was going to hang out with fred longer, but i was so tired from the day that i went home instead. i played piano and sang (because no one was home), then when my mom and dad got home, we watched steel magnolias...yeah, even my dad watched. then i read some of "ragtime" and went to bed and slept for almost 10 hours. bliss.

today is sarah and megan's excellant adventure. :)

i'm peachy.

but i do miss everyone, so give me a call if you think of it.

fall brake

i'm so glad that fall break is upon me. i need a break from life at la salle. it's so stressful right now with e-board, classes, honors project, and life in general. it's all getting to me. here's what my break has in store for me:

1. quality time with my favorite secret agent, 86.
2. farmers market with megan #1.
3. time with my cats.
4. time in my car, preferrably with my sister.
5. my dad's birthday dinner (spaghetti!) and family.
6. going to my "other" family's house.
7. train!
8. reminesing at EPHS....for a very short time...all my favorite teachers are retired / gone, except 'mom' (see 6)
9. singing in the shower (something i refrain from doing at school)
10. stopping by hallmark to see my ladies.
11. barbs!
12. walking through the mcdonalds drive through (fred and i are going to attempt it!)
13. diner...most definitly diner
14. dance.

so much, but i'm so excited. :)

i'm peachy...

expect pictures galore from this break. and yes, i spelled break in the title "brake" on purpose.

check out "gotta have you" by the weepies. you will love it.

i'm getting 1776 tomorrow from aaron. he is my personal god right now.

really signing off now. i'm excited, can you tell?

george washington

this is why i'm an american studies major. yes...this is what my parents are helping me pay $120,000 for. i love my life sometimes.

i'm peachy...and nerdy.

haunted hayrides = unhappy megan

i learned some valuable things tonight while i was out celebrating kate's birthday.

1. there are actually times when chris mcbride is useful.
2. ring pops make people think dirty things.
3. i don't like being scared, and if i torture myself too long, i cry.
4. dancing vegetables are hilarious.
5. tiffany's diner has the nicest bathrooms, but are all made for small people.
6. amy REALLY likes her milkshake.
7. i'm embarrassed easily by myself.
8. mother theresa looks like the grandmother of a california raisin.
9. i'm the "stoner sister"
10. people like my hats.
11. even when i'm having a lot of fun, i can still think about what i was originally supposed to be doing and be sad about it.
12. i don't like not seeing people for 2 month stretches.
13. i hope i get to drink this weekend.
14. i'll be lonely most of tomorrow, but i should probably do some work.
15. i wish i was not alone right now, but somewhere else entirely.

i'll possibly post pictures later. now, i'm going to turn off the lights, put on my little kid pajama's, and crawl into bed and wish very hard that my luck will change soon. why do i obsess about this? it's not really important...no, it is. i'm getting sick of being over looked...but i feel like to stop being overlooked, i have to be someone else and i won't do that.

i'm back on my cat lady kick.

the peach is a lonely hunter.

seasons.

i wish mother nature would pick a season and stick with it. when she doesn't, my allergies act up.

i wish i was going away this weekend, but due to circumstances neither i or my host could help, i cannot. i now have to be here at la salle all weekend. thank god fall break is coming up.

i'm really pessimistic right now, especially about jekyll and hyde. i want to invite people to see it, but right now it is so far from anything that i'm hoping no one i know shows up. i'm sure that will change, but right now it doesn't look good. also, i question people's seriousness. i'm not asking for like gung ho craziness. i'm just asking that people come to rehearsal prepared, we stay and work from 6:30 until 10 and then be done. if that would happen, things would get done. sigh.

all i've been doing lately is sighing. i want to be pleasantly surprised this weekend. i mean really surprised. i doubt it though. nothing interesting happens to me. ever. not anymore at least. and if it does, something happens and it doesn't happen full out...or it just gets planned. boo.

i'm peachy....kinda.

bugs!

there were bugs in my apartment today...3...of various types. we must spray! i want to die...i hate bugs. i can just feel little creepy crawlys all over. we're pretty clean too, so i'm pissed. i hate la salle apartments. they are pieces of shit and i want my housing deposit back.

ewwwwwwww.

i'm peachy.

a glimmer of gold.

every once and while, i have this yearning to talk about my grandma, and because of jess' recent talks of her own, i am reminded of mine.

there isn't much i haven't said about my real grandma (to distinguish from my masque grandmom angie). she was the smartest woman i've known outside of my professors, and she never went to college. she was a teacher and she was just cool. there are certain things that i like just because she did. broadway, barbra streisand, my celtic culture, jeopardy, etc. all grandma things. i won't do certain things because i know that if she was alive, she would be pissed if i did them, especially smoking (which killed her in the end). my grandma dressed and sounded like bea arthur on "the golden girls". my grandma really actually used bea arthur as a "style icon" at the time because they were the same age. grandma always had marishino cherries, cocoa krispies and these weird gourmet jelly beans that were pre-jelly bellys with flavors like watermelon, coconut, and kiwi. we spent a lot of weekends with her when i was in elementary school. we'd go up on friday, get there around 7, watch jeopardy, have dinner and sarah and i would sleep on the couches in her living room (which are really uncomfortable). these couches are now in our living room. my bedroom set is her old bedroom set (she did not die in that bed...she slept on this weird bed in her tv room so she could watch tv at night).

what made me think of grandma just now is my sister's senior picture. no, my sister is not the spitting image of grandma at 17. only my cousin devin has that destinction. i get to look like my dad and my grandpa. i noticed that my sister was wearing her gold bracelet in the picture. sarah and i both inherited pieces of jewerly from grandma that we got on our 16th birthdays. (as a side note...i was 9 and sarah was 6 when my grandma died). i got my claddaugh ring (duh) and my sister got this gold bracelet. grandma is frequently spotted in photos wearing both these pieces. if i was to lose this ring, i feel that i would lose my grandma, my still favorite person in the universe.

ok. that's done. i have nothing to say on that subject.

i just went on a shopping spree at king of prussia. it was fun. i also now have 4 cheese pasta in my fridge from the cheesecake factory. mmm.

yay for this start to the week. :)

i'm peachy.

weapon of choice

my favorite music video of recent memory.

White & Nerdy

this is my life. sigh. i love this song.

my life as of right now.

yesterday was pretty freakin' sweet. no class, work went really fast, i got A LOT of AR&R stuff done, i spent some quality time with my beach buddy ("to the intolerably happy couple" / "in each of us there are two natures"), and i had a pleasant surprise when i returned to my apartment last night, at 2 am. there was a lot of drama yesterday, i realize that. however, i also learned that i have (as of late, this is a new thing) things don't upset me the way they used to. if i hadn't kept my cool and just said what i feel to people in a logical and less emotional way, i wouldn't have had anything i wanted to happen, well, happen.

today promises to be great. i have "brunch" with some of the sophomore ladies at 9:30, classes at 10 and 11 (then i'm done), some table time, back to the apartment to shower, sleep, clean, and wait for the parentals. then we have dinner (niky-shah-shah could be showing up during this time) and an improv show. this is followed up by THIS weekend's exodus off campus and a great night's sleep.

next weekend could be awesome too. i just hope that the week before doesn't make me want to die too much and that it doesn't drag on and on. it hasn't done that so far this year, but with my luck, next week will feel like 3.

the drama in my life right now could really stand to end. one area of internal drama was quieted, but now i need all those outside factors that i have no control over need to leave me alone. can i just do what i need to do to the best of my abillity and be done? do i really have to feel like i might always be in the wrong? (although, i do have my posse (read: awesome eboard) to tell me that i'm ok.

i could update on some other interesting events this week and i think i will, in brief blurbs:

-i was made a newsboy in "murder, murder" in jekyll and hyde and it more or less made my week...i'm now officially a rich person/whore/newsboy. oh the ironies.
-amy and i had some serious sister bonding time and we made a lovely meal with spaghetti, turkey meatballs (which are delicious), and fire. yeah...we may have set the smoke alarm off in the house. oops.
-i have a fountain in my bathroom (maintenence request #5).
-my honors project is coming along.
-improv show tonight (woo!)
-exodus number 2 from la salle is next weekend.
-grey's anatomy is the best show on tv right now (even if it's just a nighttime soap...i love it).
-my bed is the most comfy thing right now....clean/febreezed everything, jersey cotton sheets, and my blanket was washed too, which always makes it softer.

that's all for right now.

the peach is a lonely, but pretty content, hunter.

that sign off, i realized recently, doesn't really apply to me. but i feel like i'm clever. oh well.

i'm peachy (pin pirouette), again.

a declaration.

i have decided to be positive about things. they're not that bad at all.

I declare to:
1. "always look on the bright side of life" do do. do do do do do do.
2. remember that i have friends who really care who i can lean on.
3. fix friendships that have gone awry that will improve my standard of happiness...some friendships need to be let go.
4. not dwell on the past ("the past is a big brick wall" - the electric six)
5. keep taking good care of myself with vitamins and such.
6. always remember that life is cyclical and happiness and true love will find me again.

there. now i'm going to watch "reds". a movie about communism and the past. good start, eh?

the peach is a lonely but happy hunter.