2006...go away.

Dear 2006,

You sucked.

Love, Megan


Normally I do a blow by blow account of my year at this time. However, this year, I do not wish to rehash the crap that has occurred in my little world. Now, I realize that I have it OK. I still have my family (no deaths this year), and most of my friends, and my grades (eh). But I lost a lot this year that I wish I could still have. I messed up. I didn't think things through. I just wanted what i wanted when i wanted it and didn't think twice. I couldn't even do the easy things, like tell the person I love that i love them. What was wrong with me? Anyway, I guess I'll do a positive blow by blow of the year that was 2006.

January: worked at chiavetta consulting for the last time. went back to school for the kick ass semester that was spring 2006. visited john a lot. it snowed and i got to play in it. red herring rehearsals began (the cluster lives on!).

February: New Improv 101 teammates. ( i got the flu) Red Herring. I got elected to E-board. Escape to Basils.

March: Spring Break at my aunts. "The Holy Day". I had my first Masque child, Doug and I married Nik Kozel (in the masque...). Sara came home with me to see "Damn Yankees".

April: Boys. Shakespeare. Formal. Kiss the Wall.

May: Hallmark.

June: Sara visited me.

July: Weekend of amazingness (AKA: beach, lally, allen). "to the beach/lally/allen". New York City / Avenue Q / William Holly.

August: Washington! Sasha's wedding. Back to La Salle.

September: Jekyll and Hyde. Improv opens at fringe.

October: Fall Break. Parents weekend. Halloween cry fest / Puke fest with Amy.

November: Jekyll and Hyde is a success. Cast party... Ghetto Thanksgiving. Real Thanksgiving.

December: Honors Project. Xmasoke. Friends. 21! Christmas.

as you can see, not quite as good as 2005. 2007 should be better. I'm ringing it in with my best friends from home (minus one...who i haven't seen in 4 months.). On the 2nd, Amy, Doug, and Val are coming in for a whirlwind tour of central PA or Megan's Life outside la salle. I have a serious cold that I need to berid myself of.

Dammit. 2007 will be amazing. I decree it here and now. I'm going to Disney. I'm getting my second masque kid. Hopefully I'll get into Philadelphia Story, and if not, I'll be a super techie this time. I have awesome classes. I'll move in with my senior year roomies in August (Amanda, Liz, Michele, and Sara). This might be the year that everything from 2006 that went wrong sorts itself out.

6 Songs of 2006 (for me)
1. Sexy Back
2. Ridiculous
3. Ain't No Other Man
4. Facade
5. Hide and Seek
6. Immortality

there was so much that happened this year. I can't even comprehend it. It was a long year. I'm glad it's over now.

i'm peachy.

ps: i apologize for the disjointed nature of this entry. I just took tylenol cold. it's a trip.

maggies pants

this is a short entry to state the following:

1. if i get the flu, someone will pay.
2. my cats are hilarious
3. i almost flipped out on someone in church
4. i have the best bosses ever.
5. i have a changing color snowman nightlight in my room.

and the big one.

6. amy, doug, and val are coming to visit!! i'm quite excited about this. i'm currently thinking of doing the following with them while they're here:

1. making doug play the piano so my mom can sing along (when i play, i'm not that good and my mom gets ahead of me).
2. going to gettysburg (sorry, history nerds on board).
3. summerdale diner
4. state museum (it's becoming a trend)
5. small get together with the home-fries.
6. crossword puzzles with doug.
7. laughing with amy until my sides die.
8. dancing around with val.
9. having a perfectly marvelous time.

so much excitement! i'm too excited to sleep!!

angels with no faces, let alone dirty ones.

so, i've worked a total of 16 hours at hallmark and already i have good stories. well, mainly one.

people assume that we sell every collectors item known to man. if we sell precious moments and willow tree, we must also sell the item that they are searching for (like we care, especially 4 days before christmas). i was putting away willow tree figurines, those creepy/inspiring angels with no faces, and this woman approaches me. allow me to describe the scenario. I am taking figurines out of the box and placing them on the shelves in the front of the store. i look very busy. she is wearing the classic mom jeans, mom sneakers, mom sweatshirt (the ones with no hood and a fleecy snowman on the front, smiliing), and mom haircut (style #730: blonde, short, large blowdry curls). she is followed by her husband, and a boy. the boy is round. if i drew him, he would be two circles and legs. he has blonde hair (think ralphy from "a christmas story") and he is always picking his nose. he is wearing elastic jeans and a striped shirt. he also has big front teeth.

woman: "do you work here?" (note: i have never received a name tag, so considering what we're allowed to wear to work, it's a valid question).
me: yes, yes i do.
woman: "do you have cheeks"
me: "pardon?"
woman: "you know! cheeks!"
me: "no ma'am, i don't"
woman: "well they're the cutest thing! they're little angels with their little naked butts hanging out!"
me: "oh, goodness. no, we don't have those"
woman: "well, kathy's christmas has them, so why don't you?" (note: kathy's christmas is a free standing store that is about 8 times the size of our 'casa de cards' that sells nothing BUT collector chatchkies).
me: "i don't know. it's my second day".

i'm keeping a count of my days so far this break so that when i fuck up or when i don't know where something is, i can say "i'm sorry...i've only been here for _____ days"...smile. i know how to do a lot more than most of the ladies who i worked with today. i'm not allowed to do returns, but somehow all the people there (except the women who can do returns) are oblivious to that fact. over the summer i was allowed to join the illustrious order of the "keyholders". we are a noble sect of the 'casa de cards' workers, and when i had to relinquish my key at the end of the summer, i knew i'd never be able to fly with those eagles again. still, i'm more knowledgable than the other ladies who work part time. i logged the shipment today from fed-ex and i noted that we got our first shipment of valentine's day stuff.

VALENTINE'S DAY! i'm still lamenting over the lonliness that is Christmas without a man. meh. i'll cross that bridge when i come to it.

my mom went to 'big lots' today to get frames for my sister's graduation pictures. she saw a woman about 50 or 60 years old wearing the following:
-plaid pants
-a halter top (it's getting cold here...really).
- a baret.
take it all in. i was going to make a comment here...but i've decided to go with my better judgement and keep it to myself.

i also watched 'clean house' today with my mom. never have i seen a more pathetic couple. they fought the entire episode, which wasn't awkward at all. the man had a shit load of harley davidson t-shirts, shotglasses, and stuffed animals. he referred the latter as being real people. he cried when he got rid of his hundreds of t-shirts. i cried because i was laughing so hard.

i found out today that i survived the semester with GPA intact. phew.

so, that is the life of megan currently. i've been working my butt off and spending the other 8 hours that i'm not sleeping hanging out with friends and family. time for bed.

i'm peachy.

the longest sigh ever.

this sigh is a sigh of relief though.

THE SEMESTER FROM HELL IS COMPLETE! I just turned in my last paper and I am done for a month. I plan on doing nothing but working, scrapbooking, AR&R-ing, and reading books i want to read for fun. I'm sitting in my relaxing bedroom, listening to frank sinatra and barbra streisand, which is great study music, by the way. I'm well fed. I got some amazing birthday gifts today. My sister gave me the 15th anniversary "The Big Chill" DVD. My aunt and uncle gave me a beautiful bracelet. Mom and Dad got me this cross necklace and this cute black lacey dress. I had shrimp for dinner. I played the piano. I saw a movie. I anticipate an amazing break.

I saw "The Holiday". Check out the "jaws" blog later for a review of that.

This week has been a whirlwind.

12.12 - My 21st birthday. A very low key day. I rang it in with friends over a shot of Malibu Rum (thanks wifey!) and had a pleasantly relaxing day. I watched movies and went to the Manyunk Diner for dinner and drinks with a great group of people. Well, that was after they remembered to come back to school and get me. Long story, and I think Jess outlines it best in her blog. I had two Jolly Rancher martinis and a sleepover at the girls townhouse.

12.13 - I had my last final (American Revolution) and i worked all afternoon. After that, I was supposed to go out to dinner again, but since underagers were included in my birthday thing, I cancelled it so that I could go to Liz's last diner run before Ireland (tear...). I'm going to miss my future roomie!

12.14 - I worked again, after sorting out all my scheduling issues. Then Liz asked me if I wanted to go see "The Phantom of the Opera", which of course I said yes to. Four hours later, I'm on the subway with Amanda, Abby, and Kate to get the rush tickets. After we had secured our tickets, we stopped in Starbucks for some liquid refreshment, and i got my hot chocolate for free because my best friend's roommate was working there. woo! Phantom was pretty good. The sets and lights were AMAZING! I was amazed from the minute the overture started. The costumes were gorgeous and I joked with k-laz that I needed something like that for the next show I'm in, in payment for the purple "dress". However, the actors were not the best. The voices on Raoul and Christine were only so-so, and Meg was downright awful. The Phantom was incredible, and Monsieurs Andre and Ferimend were hilarious.

12.15 - I woke up at the crack of dawn to finish my paper and to pack. Mom got here at 10:00 and we left by about 11:15, after I said good-bye to george and val. We went to King of Prussia, I saw Dave Hamden (i think) and Julia (yay!), and I got no shopping finished. meh. My mom and I had a good time though. We did a lot of people watching, which was funny. I slept the whole way home (sorry mom!) and I was welcomed by my family and cats. My sister and I saw "The Holiday" and that brings me to this moment.

I have to call work soon and get hours. I also can't wait until my la salle crew comes down this break. There will be a party!!

Time to unpack and unwind, finally.

I'm peachy.

woo!

the crazy onion is legal today.

the lonely peach is finally 21.

tuesday: bump happy hour, then who knows.

wednesday: out for dinner and a movie with the underagers and then good-bye diner run for liz. :(

come out if you want to for either. :)

just another year older though and it's hard not to be a little melancholy about being "alone". last year i had a great birthday. i don't think it was just because i was spending it with a person i love, but i'm sure it had a lot to do with it.

i'm not sad...just wondering where my personal life is going.

i'm peachy....and legally buzzed.

Here We Go Again

This is the last one I'll post for a bit...promise. It's just too good not to.

I'm peachy...and procrastinating...sorta.

1776 - A Silent Film (For Amy)

I'm only posting this because I think Amy will get a kick out of it. None the less, it's pretty hilarious.

These videos are what's keeping me sane in these intense days of 9/11 research. leave me be. :)

i'm peachy.

Ain't No Other Man

i love british men...or as the other video shows, men who were british, but decided to declare their independence. i'm such a weirdo.

or a hopeless romantic...you be the judge.

i'm peachy.

Sexy Back

this is because i'm a theatre geek and an american studies major. there are more where these came from...this person is a genius.

in case you didn't know, this is from '1776', possibly one of the most underrated musicals...ever.

i'm peachy.

ps: there's another similar video coming soon.

I think New Hampshire has it right...

I had some difficulty sleeping, like I tend to do these days, so I got out of bed and turned on the television. After flipping through the channels four times, I finally decided to leave it on MSNBC's Countdown with Keith Olberman...undeniably my favorite news program, outside Comedy Central. He talked about killer whales, poisoned Russians, and various other items of interest. As I got up to cook my cheesy ramen, I heard Keith say something about Newt Gingrich and the first amendment. I couldn't wait for the commercial to be over, because I HAD to hear this. Basically, the former Speaker of the House was at a New Hampshire rally for the appreciation of the first amendment rights (freedoms of speech, assembly, religion, and the press). He told the crowd (who was there just to bask in the glow of the baby of the Bill of Rights) that to truly defeat terrorism in America, Americans should be willing to relinquish our first amendment rights.

Pardon?

Did he just tell us that to be true Americans, we should give up the most important right we possess as citizens of this country?

Mom, open up the safe deposit box. I think I'm going to need my passport.

This simply outrages me. I am just as afraid, if not more, as the next person about terrorism on my soil. I think about September 11, 2001 everyday, and not just because of my honors project. When I hear a plane fly too close overhead, I immediately think, where is that plane going and should I be running in a different direction right now. This is really inconvenient too, because BOTH of my residences are 20 minutes or less from an international airport, so planes fly overhead at lower altitudes a lot. It's sort of necessary so that they can LAND. After 9/11, I didn't spend a lot of time by myself because I was too scared to. I remember sitting on the driveway with my little sister on the Thursday following, we may have been chalk drawing, I don't know. I heard a noise that I hadn't heard in days and I wanted to die. The sound of a plane, flying at a normal altitude, scared the beejeezus out of me. I also typically spend 9/11 in bed and cry. I have vicarious traumatization and it sucks.

With all this in mind, you may wonder why I don't personally support the current administration's plan to aleviate this issue of terrorism. I'm targeted because I am an American. Why am I an American? Because at some point, my Irish ancestors decided enough was enough with this oppression crap and they came over. And in 1954, my mom's parents decided that post-WWII Germany was not exactly the place to raise a family either. We are lucky enough to possess certain rights, which our forefathers saw as not only a good thing, but natural rights that everyman should possess. Great! Cool! Awesome! Americans continue the task of granting others that right every day, such as in Iraq and Afghanistan. We want them to have the same priveledges as us. We want the Iraqi's to vote in democratic elections and be able to say whatever they want. Good! Commendable! But wait! To do that and to keep 9/11 from happening again, Americans have to give that stuff up.

We were just founded on the principle of "I'm human and I can do what I damn well please, you oppressor you!".

I am an American Studies major. I've spent numerous classes reading the Bill of Rights, the Constitution, the Federalist Papers, the Declaration of Independence. I hold the principles near to my heart. I feel that these things are what defines us as Americans, along with the Miss America pagent and Sport Utility Vehicles. I refuse to give them up. I'm like a egocentric four year old when I say "MINE!". I'll gladly share them with others, but I will not let them go all together. People die in the name of America everyday and to take those rights away would cause their sacrafices to be in vain. When I inform people that I am an American Studies major, many automatically assume that I must be the most patriotic American around, some what like if I was a Women's Studies major and was called a feminist. That's not how things work in our little world of AMST. We discuss film, culture, religion, history, literature, and all the little things that make us American. We are not taught, however, to agree with everything that the President says. Frankly, although it's not said outright or anything, we are taught to constantly think outside the box and question everything. That's what the colonists did in the 1770's, when they decided to break away from Great Britain. If the Revolution had failed, men like George Washington, James Madison, my buddy T.J., and John Adams (founder of my heart) would have been hanged for treason. But they knew something was amiss and had to be corrected.

At this point, I do anticipate moving to Great Britain at some point in my 20's, most likely. I am officially a future ex-pat (an idea that I got from one of the people I met at Penn last year). People there will ask me, hopefully over a 4pm tea, what I studied at University. I will tell them American Studies and I will have to spend the rest of tea explaining myself. "I was young and naive". I kid. I'll have to explain myself, but nothing like that, I'm sure. I think that they'll see the difference and we'll go back to sipping Earl Grey and discussing David Beckham's sweet behind, or whatever ladies discuss over there.

I'm glad I can still write this and not fear for my freedom...yet.

_______________

as a note to my readers: i seldom go on rants like this about anything important. the last time i wrote this much was when i wrote my article on the art of woo. yeah. i also sound like a crazy liberal at certain points. but i really just wanted to make my point somewhere and it's my blog and i'll do what i want with it.

enjoy.


"live free or die"...or go to Europe.

i'm peachy.

Because I want to!

If my life were a movie, this would be the soundtrack...again (i've done this before).

How to do it:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc).
2. Put it on Shuffle.
3. Press Play.
4. For every question, type the song that's playing.
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button.
6. Be honest.

My life is a:Leather Jacket (Ben Folds)...I don't get it.


OPENING CREDITS
"Getting Married Today" - Company
(Right...this is a sick joke, yes?)


WAKING UP
"All the Wasted Time" - Parade
(I feel that way when I wake up, considering guilt is the feeling i feel when I sleep lately)

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL
"I Have a Dream" - ABBA
(I guess I feel like I can dream on the FIRST day of school...)

FALLING IN LOVE
"Sarah Brown Eyes" - Ragtime
(That's my sisters name! Argh! But I have brown eyes..)

FIGHT SONG
"Once and For All" - Newsies
(I would choose this!)


BREAKING UP
"Rum Tum Tugger" - Cats
(good christ! enough soundtracks! but it's kinda cool...)


PROM
"Sentimental Guy" - Ben Folds
(sure...why not.)


LIFE IS GOOD
"One Dwarf and 200 Solemn Faces" - Ben Folds
(Every Ben Folds is a "life is good" song for me)

MENTAL BREAKDOWN
"Defying Gravity" - Wicked
(Wicked probably will be playing near the time of my mental breakdown...)


DRIVING
"Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk" - Rufus Wainwright
(this is on my driving mix at home!)


FLASHBACK
"November" - from the cd that tom made me
(it's mellow...and "november HAS taken it's toll and if i know better, there's more to come")

GETTING BACK TOGETHER
"Rainbow Tour" - Evita
("The choice was mine and mine completely. I could have any prize that I desired"...yeah.)

WEDDING
"Take Me Home Tonight" - Eddie Money
(hmm. who am i marrying?)


FINAL BATTLE
"Jacks Lament" - The Nightmare Before Christmas
(I don't even try to think about these anymore...)

DEATH SCENE
"Journey to the Heavyside Layer" - Cats
(Most appropriate song thus far...and it only makes sense if you know the show)

FUNERAL SONG
"The Dance of the Robe" - Aida
(I could see this)


END CREDITS
"All You Can Eat" - Ben Folds
(Sweet...I do love lamenting about people I don't know)
----------------------------------------------------------------------

I should try this with just soundtracks...not that I didn't already end up with a mainly soundtrack list.

stolen from Doug, who stole it from Amy, who stole it from Sara.

I'm peachy. and wholely unsatisfied with this list.

the summer of the soul's in december

sigh...i've been listening to christmas music now for two days...and only when i listen to it do i feel the christmas spirit.

i'm so busy. all i do is go to class, eat, and do homework. i don't get to hang out with my friends, except for at the table. when the show was occuring, i was busy, but i still got to hang out with my friends. i haven't seen some of the people from the show since the show ended. i haven't hung out with john or allison at all (which sucks). i feel like i'm getting left behind. people are moving on and moving up, and i feel like i'm actually going backwards. today at the eboard meeting i had a moment of self-loathing that actually came out in words. i said it outloud. i think they thought i was being overdramatic, but i definitly felt that way. I really want to get into The Philadelphia Story. Really bad. However, I don't have the best hopes. There are some really great actors in the Masque, and I just don't feel that I quite measure up. Maybe it's also because the part I want was played by Katharine Hepburn, and I can't imagine taking on that task.

I actually feel that my heart is heavier than usual. I have to remind myself to take normal sized breaths. I just feel overwhelmed in every aspect of my life.

I haven't flown solo for Christmas in years. This could be weird.

(2 bright spots: my music class is cancelled on friday and over break, amy, doug, val, and jess are going to "kidnap" me...although it's not really kidnapping since i have to know when they're doing it because of work.)

i'm peachy.

happy turkey day

yellow ring.

i found the ring that george sent me as a joke this summer. i was a woman possessed. i'm not sure why i HAD to find it...but i did. it took 2 hours and i literally tore apart the room. i found some cool stuff though.

-septa token (score!)
-pictures from my high school shows.
-other jewelery
-jelly beans
-old makeup
-dance costumes
-my "john" box....eek.
-my old brain quest cards
-journals and notebooks from when i was little.
-a check for $1.17.

i'm rich.

i'm peachy.

i'll introduce her to my monkey.

i had a really good time yesterday watching friends. i just wanted to mention that.

tomorrow begins my least favorite mid year break: thanksgiving. i'm just not a fan. we're hosting an upwards of 25 people at my house. and i have all this stuff on my mind and i don't want to eat that much food...i just want to sit and think for a week.

the minute one starts falling away, the other steps up without knowing...then when i least expect it...he's back and ready for more. should i hold out, wait...not pursue anything...become a nun?

life is so weird.

sigh...

i'm peachy.

the best of all possible worlds.

well.

that was certainly an interesting show.


well.


that was certainly an interesting cast party.


well.


this is certainly turning out to be a VERY interesting year.


i wish i had more to write at this point, but the various things going on in my head are better left undiscussed, on this, such a public forum. i need to keep a lot of it to myself, or confide in someone close to me. if i don't, things will get too messy to deal with.

i am peachy though.

promise.

*title note: this song came on while i was walking away from basils this morning. it struck me as terribly ironic, considering.

roger dupree creates history!

tonight, history will be made in my little world.

first, i will have, for the first time since formal, all of my pillars of strength in one room. this sounds dumb, but i'm happiest when i'm around these friends, and some of them aren't at the school anymore, but they'll be here tonight. i think they know who they are.

second, i will host my first alumni event, with the help of the lovely tricia demeno. i'm really hoping some dinosaurs come out tonight and help me with my records work. the tree will be revealed and photo albums galore! i'm also planning on dressing very sassy tonight. :)

third, the cast party. inevitably, things happen at the cast parties. there's dancing, singing, loving, and such...it's a good time.

gotta finish what i can of the tree before tonight!!!

i'm peachy!

tick tick boom....therapy.

this is sort of how i feel about one of my issues. just insert my name where it says "susan" and a random male name where it says "jonathan".

SUSAN:
Are you saying we can't talk?

JONATHAN:
Are you saying we are not talking?

SUSAN:
What are you saying?

JONATHAN:
What are you saying?
I'm saying I feel bad, that you feel bad
About me feeling bad, about you feeling bad
About what I said, about what you said
About me not being able to share a feeling

SUSAN:
If I thought that what you thought
Was that I hadn't thought about sharing my thoughts
Then my reaction to your reaction
To my reaction
Would have been more revealing

JONATHAN:
I was afraid that you'd be afraid
If I told you that I was afraid of intimacy
If you don't have a problem with my problem
Maybe the problem is simply co-dependency

SUSAN:
Yes I know that now you know
That I didn't know that you didn't know
That when I said "No"
I meant "Yes, I know"
And that now I know that you knew
That you knew you adored me

JONATHAN:
I was wrong to

SUSAN:
Say you were wrong to

JONATHAN:
Say I was wrong about

SUSAN:
You being wrong

JONATHAN:
When you meant to say that

SUSAN:
The ring was the wrong thing to bring

JONATHAN:
If I meant what I said
When I said rings bore me

JONATHAN AND SUSAN:
I'm not mad that you got mad that I got mad
When you said I should go drop dead

JONATHAN:
If I were you when I'd done what I'd done
And I'd do what you did when I gave you the ring
Having said what I said


JONATHAN:
I feel bad, that you feel bad
About me feeling bad, about you feeling bad
About what I said, about what you said
About me not being able to share a feeling

I thought you're gonna reacted shallowly
When I reacted to you

I'm not mad
You got mad
Go drop dead

If I were you when I'd done what I'd done
And I'd do what you did when I gave you the ring
Having said what I said

SUSAN:
I feel badly about you
Feeling badly about me
Feel badly about you

If I thought that what you thought
Was that I hadn't thought about sharing my thoughts
Then my reaction to your reaction
To my reaction
Would have been more revealing

I'm not mad that you got mad that I got mad
When you said I should go drop dead

If I were you
But I'm not you
Said what I said


JONATHAN:
BUt now it's out in the open

SUSAN:
Now it's off our chest

JONATHAN AND SUSAN:
Now it's four am
And we have therapy tomorrow
It's too late to screw
So lets just get some rest

bad decision making at its finest!

i probably shouldn't be so honest with people about my feelings for them. it will probably bite me in the butt someday in the very near future. i wish things could be the way i want them, but they can't. but i think i'll be happy with the way that they could possibly end up too.

i always want exactly what i can't have when i can't have it. i could have had it this summer, but i kept pushing away. and not doing things i should have done. now, i feel stupid. go with your gut woman!

sigh.

i bought 'an american in paris' today. i already had the movie, but i wanted the music. the second movement is beautiful and almost sexual in a way. i love it.

i'm peachy.

procrastination inaction

right now i SHOULD be writing a paper for presidential politics...i got one page in a stopped. i couldn't think or write anymore. i have the information, i just can't form it into sentences. i'm constantly hungry and tired right now. but i tried to lay down and take a nap, but i just laid there, wide awake. so, i watched "father of the bride" for the billionth time since i bought it 2 months ago. i need to watch a new movie. but i end up just torturing myself with romantic comedies! sigh. my mom told me that my aunt wants to set me up with one of her nephews (technically her husband's nephew). he goes to messiah and apparently we have a number of interests. have i reached an age where my family worries about me dying alone? i'm only 20 (almost 21). as much as i worry about it, i don't believe i've reached the point where others should worry about it. besides, he goes to messiah...i don't think i could date someone who went to messiah.

i also spent some time looking at the tiffany's website again. i love that one ring. it's so pretty. i think i'll save my pennies and buy it for myself. it's just what i think a ring should be. i'm pathetic.

ok...back to the paper mill.

i'm peachy.

standing OOOOOO.

last night was pretty fantastic. the show went really well, and we even got a standing ovation, which is extremely gratifying, since we thought this show would flop. People love this stuff. the more i do this show, the more i like it. I can really ham it up in "murder, murder", i can whore it up in "bring on the men", and really sing in "facade". it makes me happy. everyone sounded great last night.

afterwards i hung out with EVERYONE. it was a really good night and it ended at 6:00, since i couldn't sleep once i left the townhouses. i had the apartment to myself, so i danced around and sang and staged fake little musicals. i'm the biggest nerd alive.

this year is turning out NOT to suck, although as we know, you can't change suck...so i guess it never sucked too much. i'm getting closer with my favorite people, especially george and amy, and i'm getting to know the great class of freshman.



i have to do work now. i REALLY do. to the library! to the beach! to the lally! to the allen! i miss summer.

i'm peachy.

should i?

there are a number of things i'm trying to decide right now.

should i be bummed that john is not coming to see 'jekyll and hyde'?
should i tell the person i like that i like him? (i'm getting mixed reviews on that one)
how should i ask my roommates about having a spaghetti dinner in our apartment?

i get nervous about asking number 2. i talked to george about it...i talked to megan about it. i got two TOTALLY different answers. thanks guys. i'm kidding, i'm grateful that they'll listen to me (or kidnap me into the boys bathroom so no one will eavesdrop), but it doesn't make my decision easier. sigh.

number 1 really makes sense. we haven't talked in a while. he's probably moved on and i sort of kinda have too. i also didn't go to his show....sooo....yeah.

for number 3, i should just grow a pair and say "hey guys, i'm having some people over and we're having pasta. we'll clean up and everything, we just need a night to unwind". sigh.

i sigh a lot lately.

now i'm going to talk to people online and listen to the CD that tom made me. it should be amazing.

i'm peachy...sorta.

hello little girl.

so, as i looked around today at all the other girls in their costumes, i couldn't help but be jealous. no, not because they have prettier dresses or better slut outfits. i even get to wear my kick ass newsie costume. i'm jealous because they all look like adults and i still look like a little girl. not just body wise (god knows i've tried my best with that), but in the face. i still look more or less the same as i did the day i got my braces off when i was 15. i'll be 21 in about a month. people can't believe that. they think i'm kidding. i'm feeling really down about the whole boy thing too. i don't think the boy i like likes me in that way. other people have told me otherwise, but i'm skeptical. also, if he does like me, i have a feeling that he won't show it anyway.

i'm getting less and less confident about my ability to 'woo'. i didn't have to work hard with the other boys i've dated. i was just myself and things happened. it hasn't been that long since i've had a boyfriend, but i just get frustrated when my friends have choices and i have nothing.

i want to be done with all this.

boo.

i'm peachy.

updates galore!

update 1: my heat is fixed. woo!
update 2: the show is going pretty well.
update 3: i've given up on boys...for the time being. i just need to be there for my friends for now.
update 4: allison and john are awesome.
update 5: i'm exhausted and going to bed.
update 6: i'm stressed and i'm going crazy.


there you have it.

i'm peachy.

heat? who needs heat?

dear la salle.

you suck. for three weeks now, my roommates and i have been freezing our buns off because our heat is broken. we've sent in matinence request after matinence request and nothing has occured. i've been living like a hobo because there are nights that i just can't fathom returning to my igloo. i was warm for the first time last night...because i had my sheets, a blanket and 2 comforters...in addition to my warmest PJ's and a long sleeve shirt underneath it. i cannot get sick this week, but no matter how well i take care of myself, i will get sick because I HAVE NO HEAT! i paid a lot for this shitty box you call an apartment, and so did my roommates. it would be better to live off campus, but you were saved from that because my parents and i care about my safety, which is the only thing you have to offer me, housing wise.

no thanks whatso ever,
megan



i'm having my parents call today. diana just sent an email (the polite email, but if doesn't get a response today, she's sending the meanest email ever). this is ridiculous. i'll probably start being an official hobo somewhere if this doesn't get solved because i need my sleep and i need to not get sick. i don't even like to shower because i freeze the minute i step out and that will lead to a cold (no fears...i still take them...just sometimes at other people's houses).

i'm a frozen peach.

dun dun dunnnnnnnn....

so, on sunday last, i asked tom if he could call a special rehearsal to go over the dance for "bring on the men". i worried then that the girls in the cast, minus amy, would hate me if they found out that i had ASKED for it, so i only told melissa. well, the girls were actually happy to be there going over the piece. phew

on tuesday we met at 6:30 and i ran a warm-up, with the assistance of jo anna, because she knows the dance and her's is a little different than ours. after the warm up, we had a brief, but fruitful, lesson in walking in heels, because some mothers failed their daughters in that department (thanks mommy!). much better. then we ran the dance. GOOD LORD! i thought some things were lacking, but when i watched the dance, i was overwhelmed with corrections. so, as a team, we girls started to fix things, alter things, clean things up. I'M REALLY PROUD OF THE DANCERS IN THE SHOW. they worked really hard because they wanted this to work. now, there are still parts that i would love to fix. and one of the major people who didn't have a clue with the dance before is even more behind and it's driving me nuts. stop ruining our perfect dance!!!! so, in the end, although i yelled a lot and earned the nicknames mussolini / machiavelli from tom, and i probably made some girls feel really uncomfortable, it got done. i felt good about the dance, but i wish tom would stop bringing it up that i did a good job because that is not how i would have handled myself normally. frankly i'm a little embarrassed by my methods sometimes. i try really hard to be kind and nice to everyone as much as humanly possible, and to not complain about things (like costumes...if i hear anyone complain about a costume that they themselves did not make (whores are exempt as whores), i will injure them). but on tuesday i was kind of harsh and it's not like i have any real authority. tom just bestowed it on jo anna and i for a 2 hour block.

today, the "real" choreographer comes in. and she'll see her dance, completely altered. tom says that if she says anything, he'll take care of it. i hope she doesn't though, because we left 90% of the choreography alone and just changed formations. if she says anything, i'll probably cry. yeah...i'll definitly cry.

i'll probably cry today anyway because i feel overwhelmed and upset and alone. i have great friends but yet i still have this void in my heart for something. it's hard to fill a 2 and a half year void in 2 months. tomorrow should be good though, since i get to spend time with my friends...watching movies and such.

i'm peachy.

i thought i had kicked this...

no, not a drug habit, although my title does sound a little like i have a heroin problem. however, this feeling that i feel is sadness. i think i miss john again. i really thought i was past that point. we haven't talked in a while, mainly because the two of us are soo busy with shows and such. but his sister put up pictures from their brother's wedding and he looked so happy and handsome. my past always comes back to bite me in the ass. i think that's why i'm a history - type major, and historian of the masque. i just can't live in the present and move on.

argh. i really thought i was over this. i want to be. i want to move on for his sake and for mine. we need to move on. i should just keep saying it.

i don't even know what to say about the whole thing. i really hope i see MJ soon...she always knows what to do in these situations. she's magic...her and her husband. my magic friends.

i'm peachy...not really, but it's the sign off.

busy little blogger

my blog has been quite busy today...mainly because i found some of my favorite gilda radner clips on youtube, while i was checking out the new videos my friends put up. enjoy below!

today was mainly work, meetings, and class. oh, yeah...and rehearsal, where i earned the nickname, "machiavelli" or "mussolini"...either way, they do not exactly express how i ran rehearsal. dance is the biggest area of confidence and when people don't listen to me because they think they know better (and they don't), i tend to yell. i yell a lot. i'm kinda tempermental. that's how you know you're my good friend...you've seen me fly off the handle.

ooo...my favorite song is on my itunes...oh elliott smith. 'say yes' can always take me back to freshman year...and graham rowe...and c-71. sigh. double sigh.

there are a couple of songs that no matter my mood, i can always listen to them. 'say yes' is one. 'martha my dear' is another.
-'honey, touch me'
-'mack the knife'
-'everybody loves you now'.

there are others i'm sure...

do you ever have one of those situations where you just want to be blunt and say what needs to be said, but you know if you say it, you'll regret it? yeah...i had one of those times today.

i was also flattered by dr. stowe today. only the people who know stowe would get this, but he came up to me in the union, and told me out of the blue that if i ever needed a letter of recommendation, he would like to write one for me. holy crap! that also helps, because i want to take grad classes in american history next year. :)

life can be frustrating, but rewarding.

"delicious ambiguity"....

i'm peachy.

my hero....

they're way tight and outta sight!

more gilda

the 38 year old patti caldwell...stretch marks.

the vague little entry that could.

it's a long way down from here. i hope i don't disappoint anyone by falling.

i'm peachy.

12th and Boardwalk

So, I have decided to update my blog, as per a not-really-request from john dipompeo.

well, since friday, things have looked up, down, and all around. friday was good...i spent the day doing stuff for the haunted house, which was a smashing success. We did quite well for ourselves and I think it would be wise to do it again next year...although after watching amy,i want to have no hand in planning it.

saturday was homecoming here at la salle, so i went down to the game to see my friends who were nominated for homecoming king and queen. two of my friends won, so i was pretty happy for them all. i also got to spend some time with alumni, which for me is always nice. after the game (actually, during the game because of the wind), me and elisa and angie visited kelly in the costume pit for a few hours and then angie, elisa, ali, and i hung out and got ready for jess' halloween party. this party (after the parking job from hell) was awesome. so much bonding and such...and sick. oh well.

on sunday, we woke up from our 'slumber' and left jess' for a breakfast trip to wawa and rehearsal. it was deep hurting. but my daddy brought me soup, candy, sauce, and a card from him and my mommy, so i was happy. i came home and watched 'father of the bride' again, had dinner, and did no work...which was not good for my extreme stress and anxiety.

today i woke up and ran out of the apartment to the library for class and had a relaxing day of classes. during presidential politics, mike called me three times to make sure that i was going to be coming back to the union before rehearsal for him to hang out with, like we do every monday and wednesday. it's nice to be needed and loved. i do feel needed and loved lately, which is nice. i was able to scratch a bunch of things off my list today and cap it all off with a wawa trip. i love my wawa people a whole bunch.

nothing on any other fronts (you know what i mean if you read this with any regularity). i would mention it if there was. thank god the other party is oblivious. phew. i almost don't want them to know.

this weekend promises good things...after paper tech, movie night with my wawa lovies. then all day rehearsal which sounds like torture, but it's a good bonding experience.

please comment...i love comments.

i'm peachy.

it's the little things...the little things.

today may have been the craziest / best day of my life.

so, i was a hobo...that was bad. i had to carry my crap around with me all day long. i was literally running all over campus until 2...then i had nothing to do until 3:30...then the running began again. rehearsal was eh for me...i was way off and my turns sucked and i'm afraid that tom is going to take them out or something (but i can do them! have faith in me!).

however, tonight was also wawa night. the night i look forward to every week. allison could not join us, so we took doug. really good times, even if i may have left my ID in john's car.

finally, to cap the night, a boy called me beautiful and told me that i had perfect skin. i don't mean this to brag or whatnot...but i haven't been told that by a boy who wasn't already my good friend...in a long time. i have never felt prettier so far this year. of course, the boy i'm talking about has a girlfriend and he seems pretty much in love with her. sigh.

i'm beautiful...and on cloud nine...obviously it doesn't take me much.

let's see where life takes me this weekend. except the haunted house...i hope it gets cancelled or something. boo.

i'm peachy!!!

another hundred people... or long entry alert.

megan, megan baby, meggie darling, megs i need your advice....

well, this break has certainly been interesting, if nothing else. it was relaxing and refreshing, but it was also somewhat of an eye opener. one of the people i was in theatre with here at home just set the date for her wedding. HER WEDDING! now, i realize that this is out of the ordinary and there are specific circumstances for their setting the date, but it still makes me think. also this weekend, one of my friends at la salle picked up a boyfriend. she just broke up with her boyfriend, and not two months later, she's attached again. me? nothing on that front. believe me. that will garner quite the journal entry of either surprise or something like it. my son and i were talking about this subject this evening, as we tend to do, and we face similar dilemmas. we are both constantly told that we will find someone (which i don't doubt, it's just that it gets hard to believe sometimes), we constantly worry about it, and (to top it all off) we are both ridiculously picky. after my last relationship, i am aware of exactly what i want in the boyfriend category. i'm not going to list this here (it's not an ad, you know), but i do know. some things are completely void of words and description...i just know that it does exist.

to answer the question that people have asked me, yes i do have feelings for certain people, but all those men (i guess i'm dating men now...they should be over 18) are completely unavailable or unattainable for one reason or another. this would figure wouldn't it. i don't want to rush anything either...that's always bad. it's just that at the end of the day, i want someone to walk me home, kiss me goodnight, and possibly be there for me to curl up with at night. i also wish i could skip the part where there's the awkwardness, the first kiss, the first of many moments. i just want to skip to the comfort zone. i want to sit in bed with "him" and read or whatever and he can read or watch tv or whatever and we're just....there.

frequently on the weekends, at no fault of my friends, i'm beginning to feel like bobby in "company" (which i've become entranced by this weekend). i get invited to hang out, but it's everyone, their significant others...and me. there have been a number of times this year where i'm the only single one in the room...and every one is with their better half at that moment. they can't help this...they want to be with their person...it's just that i'm alone. people tell me that "you should be happy that you've had a big relationship already". what? does this mean that i'm done? i peaked at 20? that can't be good. just because i had a boyfriend for a long time and we broke up doesn't mean that i should have to walk through life alone. that's not fair. life isn't fair, i know. but still. that's painful.

today my mom and i were talking about life and my future (which came out of a conversation similar to the one above) and i mentioned my thoughts on going to the british isles after graduation to live for a while. maybe wait for grad school or go over there...maybe teach or work there. i dunno. but part of me really wants to go. i love england and maybe that's where my prince charming is hiding (god willing, his name is harry or william and a dead mother named diana). all those romantic comedies i like take place in england, so maybe that's where i'm destined to find true love. however, i'd rather find it here in philly.

"someone to hold me too close...someone to know me too well...someone to hurt me too deep...someone to someone to sit in my chair and ruin my sleep and make me aware of being alive." - company / stephen sondheim.

i'm peachy.

and it has begun...

fall break has begun and i could not be happier. after a relaxing train ride (on which i watched "mary poppins") my mom picked me up and we went home. we just lazed around for a while and i helped my mom make a CD for her annual shopping trip with her sisters, mom, and my cousin (the unofficial rule is that you have to be 20 to go, but it doesn't suit for me this year...mom's going to make an effort for it to be in philly next year so i can go). then fred came over and we had dinner and went to the amc to see "man of the year" (i'm saving a review of that for my movie blog). it was funny, but very pointed as well. i was going to hang out with fred longer, but i was so tired from the day that i went home instead. i played piano and sang (because no one was home), then when my mom and dad got home, we watched steel magnolias...yeah, even my dad watched. then i read some of "ragtime" and went to bed and slept for almost 10 hours. bliss.

today is sarah and megan's excellant adventure. :)

i'm peachy.

but i do miss everyone, so give me a call if you think of it.

fall brake

i'm so glad that fall break is upon me. i need a break from life at la salle. it's so stressful right now with e-board, classes, honors project, and life in general. it's all getting to me. here's what my break has in store for me:

1. quality time with my favorite secret agent, 86.
2. farmers market with megan #1.
3. time with my cats.
4. time in my car, preferrably with my sister.
5. my dad's birthday dinner (spaghetti!) and family.
6. going to my "other" family's house.
7. train!
8. reminesing at EPHS....for a very short time...all my favorite teachers are retired / gone, except 'mom' (see 6)
9. singing in the shower (something i refrain from doing at school)
10. stopping by hallmark to see my ladies.
11. barbs!
12. walking through the mcdonalds drive through (fred and i are going to attempt it!)
13. diner...most definitly diner
14. dance.

so much, but i'm so excited. :)

i'm peachy...

expect pictures galore from this break. and yes, i spelled break in the title "brake" on purpose.

check out "gotta have you" by the weepies. you will love it.

i'm getting 1776 tomorrow from aaron. he is my personal god right now.

really signing off now. i'm excited, can you tell?

george washington

this is why i'm an american studies major. yes...this is what my parents are helping me pay $120,000 for. i love my life sometimes.

i'm peachy...and nerdy.

haunted hayrides = unhappy megan

i learned some valuable things tonight while i was out celebrating kate's birthday.

1. there are actually times when chris mcbride is useful.
2. ring pops make people think dirty things.
3. i don't like being scared, and if i torture myself too long, i cry.
4. dancing vegetables are hilarious.
5. tiffany's diner has the nicest bathrooms, but are all made for small people.
6. amy REALLY likes her milkshake.
7. i'm embarrassed easily by myself.
8. mother theresa looks like the grandmother of a california raisin.
9. i'm the "stoner sister"
10. people like my hats.
11. even when i'm having a lot of fun, i can still think about what i was originally supposed to be doing and be sad about it.
12. i don't like not seeing people for 2 month stretches.
13. i hope i get to drink this weekend.
14. i'll be lonely most of tomorrow, but i should probably do some work.
15. i wish i was not alone right now, but somewhere else entirely.

i'll possibly post pictures later. now, i'm going to turn off the lights, put on my little kid pajama's, and crawl into bed and wish very hard that my luck will change soon. why do i obsess about this? it's not really important...no, it is. i'm getting sick of being over looked...but i feel like to stop being overlooked, i have to be someone else and i won't do that.

i'm back on my cat lady kick.

the peach is a lonely hunter.

seasons.

i wish mother nature would pick a season and stick with it. when she doesn't, my allergies act up.

i wish i was going away this weekend, but due to circumstances neither i or my host could help, i cannot. i now have to be here at la salle all weekend. thank god fall break is coming up.

i'm really pessimistic right now, especially about jekyll and hyde. i want to invite people to see it, but right now it is so far from anything that i'm hoping no one i know shows up. i'm sure that will change, but right now it doesn't look good. also, i question people's seriousness. i'm not asking for like gung ho craziness. i'm just asking that people come to rehearsal prepared, we stay and work from 6:30 until 10 and then be done. if that would happen, things would get done. sigh.

all i've been doing lately is sighing. i want to be pleasantly surprised this weekend. i mean really surprised. i doubt it though. nothing interesting happens to me. ever. not anymore at least. and if it does, something happens and it doesn't happen full out...or it just gets planned. boo.

i'm peachy....kinda.

bugs!

there were bugs in my apartment today...3...of various types. we must spray! i want to die...i hate bugs. i can just feel little creepy crawlys all over. we're pretty clean too, so i'm pissed. i hate la salle apartments. they are pieces of shit and i want my housing deposit back.

ewwwwwwww.

i'm peachy.

a glimmer of gold.

every once and while, i have this yearning to talk about my grandma, and because of jess' recent talks of her own, i am reminded of mine.

there isn't much i haven't said about my real grandma (to distinguish from my masque grandmom angie). she was the smartest woman i've known outside of my professors, and she never went to college. she was a teacher and she was just cool. there are certain things that i like just because she did. broadway, barbra streisand, my celtic culture, jeopardy, etc. all grandma things. i won't do certain things because i know that if she was alive, she would be pissed if i did them, especially smoking (which killed her in the end). my grandma dressed and sounded like bea arthur on "the golden girls". my grandma really actually used bea arthur as a "style icon" at the time because they were the same age. grandma always had marishino cherries, cocoa krispies and these weird gourmet jelly beans that were pre-jelly bellys with flavors like watermelon, coconut, and kiwi. we spent a lot of weekends with her when i was in elementary school. we'd go up on friday, get there around 7, watch jeopardy, have dinner and sarah and i would sleep on the couches in her living room (which are really uncomfortable). these couches are now in our living room. my bedroom set is her old bedroom set (she did not die in that bed...she slept on this weird bed in her tv room so she could watch tv at night).

what made me think of grandma just now is my sister's senior picture. no, my sister is not the spitting image of grandma at 17. only my cousin devin has that destinction. i get to look like my dad and my grandpa. i noticed that my sister was wearing her gold bracelet in the picture. sarah and i both inherited pieces of jewerly from grandma that we got on our 16th birthdays. (as a side note...i was 9 and sarah was 6 when my grandma died). i got my claddaugh ring (duh) and my sister got this gold bracelet. grandma is frequently spotted in photos wearing both these pieces. if i was to lose this ring, i feel that i would lose my grandma, my still favorite person in the universe.

ok. that's done. i have nothing to say on that subject.

i just went on a shopping spree at king of prussia. it was fun. i also now have 4 cheese pasta in my fridge from the cheesecake factory. mmm.

yay for this start to the week. :)

i'm peachy.

weapon of choice

my favorite music video of recent memory.

White & Nerdy

this is my life. sigh. i love this song.

my life as of right now.

yesterday was pretty freakin' sweet. no class, work went really fast, i got A LOT of AR&R stuff done, i spent some quality time with my beach buddy ("to the intolerably happy couple" / "in each of us there are two natures"), and i had a pleasant surprise when i returned to my apartment last night, at 2 am. there was a lot of drama yesterday, i realize that. however, i also learned that i have (as of late, this is a new thing) things don't upset me the way they used to. if i hadn't kept my cool and just said what i feel to people in a logical and less emotional way, i wouldn't have had anything i wanted to happen, well, happen.

today promises to be great. i have "brunch" with some of the sophomore ladies at 9:30, classes at 10 and 11 (then i'm done), some table time, back to the apartment to shower, sleep, clean, and wait for the parentals. then we have dinner (niky-shah-shah could be showing up during this time) and an improv show. this is followed up by THIS weekend's exodus off campus and a great night's sleep.

next weekend could be awesome too. i just hope that the week before doesn't make me want to die too much and that it doesn't drag on and on. it hasn't done that so far this year, but with my luck, next week will feel like 3.

the drama in my life right now could really stand to end. one area of internal drama was quieted, but now i need all those outside factors that i have no control over need to leave me alone. can i just do what i need to do to the best of my abillity and be done? do i really have to feel like i might always be in the wrong? (although, i do have my posse (read: awesome eboard) to tell me that i'm ok.

i could update on some other interesting events this week and i think i will, in brief blurbs:

-i was made a newsboy in "murder, murder" in jekyll and hyde and it more or less made my week...i'm now officially a rich person/whore/newsboy. oh the ironies.
-amy and i had some serious sister bonding time and we made a lovely meal with spaghetti, turkey meatballs (which are delicious), and fire. yeah...we may have set the smoke alarm off in the house. oops.
-i have a fountain in my bathroom (maintenence request #5).
-my honors project is coming along.
-improv show tonight (woo!)
-exodus number 2 from la salle is next weekend.
-grey's anatomy is the best show on tv right now (even if it's just a nighttime soap...i love it).
-my bed is the most comfy thing right now....clean/febreezed everything, jersey cotton sheets, and my blanket was washed too, which always makes it softer.

that's all for right now.

the peach is a lonely, but pretty content, hunter.

that sign off, i realized recently, doesn't really apply to me. but i feel like i'm clever. oh well.

i'm peachy (pin pirouette), again.

a declaration.

i have decided to be positive about things. they're not that bad at all.

I declare to:
1. "always look on the bright side of life" do do. do do do do do do.
2. remember that i have friends who really care who i can lean on.
3. fix friendships that have gone awry that will improve my standard of happiness...some friendships need to be let go.
4. not dwell on the past ("the past is a big brick wall" - the electric six)
5. keep taking good care of myself with vitamins and such.
6. always remember that life is cyclical and happiness and true love will find me again.

there. now i'm going to watch "reds". a movie about communism and the past. good start, eh?

the peach is a lonely but happy hunter.

peer pressure

i'm sitting alone on a friday night after watching my friends go off with their significant others. so fill this out.

http://kevan.org/johari?name=Peachy+Colleen

thanks.

the peach is a lonely hunter

hooray!

MY SISTER GOT THE LEAD IN THE EAST PENNSBORO PRODUCTION OF 'OUR TOWN'!!!! I honestly couldn't be happier right now. She always seems to get pushed to the side and FINALLY someone realized her talent and potential. I can't stop smiling at the moment.

But of course, it's the same weekend as closing weekend of Jekyll and Hyde. Well, I guess I'll just have to watch the tape.


the peach is a lonely hunter, but my sister is freaking awesome.

awake is the new sleep

so, i have insomnia this evening. it could have to do with the 3 and a half hour nap i took at 5:30. but it could also have to do with the things running through my head. i cannot quiet my thoughts and it's very annoying. i'm very tired. i really am. but everytime i close my eyes, i think about the same thing i've thought about for the last three years when i'm having trouble sleeping. it's over and i know that, but i guess i'm having trouble accepting it...but i do accept that it's over. i don't want to, but i do. i watched "that 70's show" earlier and it made me cry. that's not what it's supposed to do!

here are some other things that made me cry for no reason
1. hitch
2. seinfeld
3. the life aquatic with steve zissou
4. american revolution class
5. being alone
6. annie hall
7. when harry met sally..
8. my cell phone
9. common sense by thomas paine.

some i can explain, and others make no sense at all. i also want to be happy for my friends, because most of them have great significant others and i do pretend and i know that somewhere deep down in my heart i'm happy, but on the surface, i have a lot of trouble being happy for them. other people aren't having the best time of it and i don't want to pretend that i'm feeling the same way, even though i am. i just want to sleep right now and i can't and that sucks. i want to have someone to have sleep overs with during the week. i'm not saying romantically, but just that person that i can just come over and sleep over like i did at C-71. i really miss that era of my life. it was fun and spontaneous. now, everything has to be planned out weeks in advance or else it just doesn't work. maybe if i end up at the shore this weekend, that time there will make everything feel a little better for just a bit. i'm going to watch TV now. i don't want to be this person. i want me to be the old me. but i guess i can't have that anymore. megan, you're a dumbass.

i wonder if certain people read this anymore?

doubtful.

the peach is a lonely hunter.

awake is the new sleep

so, i have insomnia this evening. it could have to do with the 3 and a half hour nap i took at 5:30. but it could also have to do with the things running through my head. i cannot quiet my thoughts and it's very annoying. i'm very tired. i really am. but everytime i close my eyes, i think about the same thing i've thought about for the last three years when i'm having trouble sleeping. it's over and i know that, but i guess i'm having trouble accepting it...but i do accept that it's over. i don't want to, but i do. i watched "that 70's show" earlier and it made me cry. that's not what it's supposed to do!

here are some other things that made me cry for no reason
1. hitch
2. seinfeld
3. the life aquatic with steve zissou
4. american revolution class
5. being alone
6. annie hall
7. when harry met sally..
8. my cell phone
9. common sense by thomas paine.

some i can explain, and others make no sense at all. i also want to be happy for my friends, because most of them have great significant others and i do pretend and i know that somewhere deep down in my heart i'm happy, but on the surface, i have a lot of trouble being happy for them. other people aren't having the best time of it and i don't want to pretend that i'm feeling the same way, even though i am. i just want to sleep right now and i can't and that sucks. i want to have someone to have sleep overs with during the week. i'm not saying romantically, but just that person that i can just come over and sleep over like i did at C-71. i really miss that era of my life. it was fun and spontaneous. now, everything has to be planned out weeks in advance or else it just doesn't work. maybe if i end up at the shore this weekend, that time there will make everything feel a little better for just a bit. i'm going to watch TV now. i don't want to be this person. i want me to be the old me. but i guess i can't have that anymore. megan, you're a dumbass.

i wonder if certain people read this anymore?

doubtful.

the peach is a lonely hunter.

white and nerdy

some observations:

1. i feel destined to live my life as a cat lady. whikas anyone?

2. my masque child is observant and pretty much hit the nail on the head with his last blog post.

3. i will never outgrow weird al.

4. i forsee paying for mistakes i made in the not-so-recent past for the rest of my life.

5. this weekend has the potential for not sucking.

that is all.

the peach is a lonely hunter (my new standard sign off).

peanut butter cookies and iced tea.

so, no one showed up to my party this afternoon. i invited 23 of my gal pals and not one could show up. am i that pathetic? every second of every day it gets harder and harder to believe that things will get better. all of my roommates went away for the weekend, and what's worse is that one invited another to go home with her, but no one seems to care if i'm here alone for the weekend (i don't really want to go to their houses all that much, but it's the principle of the thing). the guys i have crushses on certainly do not have crushes on me and are going along their merry way without me. the only person that i've ever felt was my best friend doesn't want to talk to me for a while. everyone has too much work, or a boyfriend, or can legally drink and really can't spend time with me. i actually cried in history class on friday. sat at my desk and cried during a quiz. i honestly don't know what would make me happy. i had a good time last night with michele and my new friend maureen, i really did. but somehow i can't get out of this funk no matter what i do. this isn't even a funk anymore. it's something else entirely. well, whatever it is, i hate it.

usually when i say something is going wrong, or when i anticipate that something is going to suck, i'm usually proven wrong. however, in this case...i just keeps getting worse. i'm trying to be optimistic, i really am. my dad told me on the phone today that i should try and keep my chin up, but i out and out said that it's getting very hard to do that, no matter how many people tell me to keep my hopes up, keep my chin up, and my personal favorite (read i hate when people say this), "don't frown, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile". no one is falling in love with my anything.

i hope there's something going on that i can participate in tonight.

maybe god is mad at me. i don't know why me, but maybe. he only gives you what you can handle, but he's really pushing it right now.

i even made iced tea and cookies.

the peach is a very lonely hunter.

ps: the church across the street is having a service outside right now and i really don't care to hear what ever they're saying and screaming. it's annoying. i think this is why i stay catholic.

saturday night's alright...for some people.

i hate weekends. i know this makes me weird, but i do. i have for a while now. i used to have awesome weekends that i could look forward to every thursday or friday. now i sit in my apartment alone for hours watching TV, then i might go out...i might not. i usually come home early because i've been painfully reminded of how poopy i've made my personal life and that i'm alone. i miss last year. i want it to be october of last year. now. junior year sucks. i have nothing to look forward to anymore. the thing that makes me happiest is rehearsals for Jekyll and Hyde, and even those can be rough. i want to get away from la salle every weekend or so. i want to make pretzels, or mini pizzas or ramen and watch comedy central. i want to lay in bed on friday morning a little longer than everyone else and wake up and watch more TV, waiting for someone to come back, knowing that they'll come back. i want to watch movies and eat at mcdonalds and ride the subway. i want to have someone to ride the train home with and let me sleep because i feel safer sleeping when someone is there to watch me. i want to have someone other than my parents to call when something good or bad or indifferent happens to me. i want to have someone to talk online to until 4am about nothing more than trivial stuff. i want to smell the old smells. i want to feel that special feeling that i did last fall and last spring (until i went and screwed everything up). the way i acted last spring is my only regret in life. i no longer regret some old things. just that. i think about it all the time. everyday.

this entry was kinda personal, but i don't think many people read this anyway. i'm sick of being alone and i can't get over the past so i can get on with the future. i'm a sad mess. i really am.

i need something to look forward to. i need a new routine, according to sara. someone help me out with that (anyone).

the peach is still a lonely hunter.

the peach is a lonely hunter.

So, i watched the film classic "Casablanca" today. This is not the first time, so no one freak out on me. However, this was the first time I ever really enjoyed it and really understood why it's such a classic. it's funny, it was topical at the time, and it's soooo romantic. ridiculously so. i don't identify with the female lead very well. well, i sort of do, but i don't want to admit it. i don't feel that i've ever been in her situation, in love with two men. i did understand humphrey bogarts character well, because i feel as though i've done that to someone and i hate myself for it. no wonder the boys i know don't want to have anything thing to do with me romantically (although in 99% of the cases, thats fine...i don't like them that way either). i'm not trust worthy. after what i did last semester, who would want to give their heart to me. anthony suggested that when i'm ready to find someone, which i'm not really, i have to find someone NEW. someout outside the masque and my current group of friends. i plan on heeding this advice. i'm a real mess. i also watched "runaway bride" today and i do NOT want to be hurricane megan, who sweeps through all the guys she knows and hurts them. it looks as though i started that trend though. i suck.

to answer the question posed by billy crystal in 'when harry met sally...', i would have tried to stay with rick in casablanca. victor lazlo is boring and humphrey bogart is well...bogie. if i don't go out tonight, i'll probably end up watching annie hall and when harry met sally..., although it's probably a bad idea. sigh.

i'm peachy.

ps: remember...it's "play it for me sam...play as time goes by". not "play it again sam".

this has literally nothing to do with jekyll and hyde.

i'm done being a junior. this year is three weeks in and i hate it. literally nothing good has come out of these three weeks. not a thing. i also feel like there isn't thing one i can do about it. i feel as though i literally have no control over what happens in my life. i'm sick of being alone romantically when everyone that i spend my time with here is in a relationship. boys just don't look at me like that. i'm the little sister or the funny girl. not the attractive girl or the girl that they want to date. i know i'm young, but i'm surrounded by reasons to feel as though I'm behind. i went to a bar tonight with two guy friends. girls glared at me (god knows why) and guys just looked past me. it sucked. i hate this. i want to spend the weekend asleep.

would you like to buy an "O"?

my mama insisted on an update...and i guess she's right.

so, the first week of classes went well. a LOT of reading, but that's to be expected. i'm slowly getting used to my roommates routines, although in all honesty, part of me wishes that i still lived with michele. oh well...maybe next year. friday night could have sucked, but i was determined to go out and be a happy member of society. around 7:30, i went over to michele's and we watched some TV, then decided to go over to john o'riordan's party at 11. well, we had to look not-hideous, so after michele got ready, we shuffled through ernesto to g2. fuck you rain. we warded off the cold and wind with some tasty beverages and watched even more television. soon we decided that it was time to depart. so, it rained harder. finally we made it to 1909 and we were promptly pushed into the adjoined house with some bewildered freshman. we should have taken this (and the cop sitting outside) that this party wasn't going to be our cup of tea, but we walked so far and we had to least say hi to john. we make our way back outside (RAIN!!) and into john's house. after climbing the stairs of future doom, we found ourselves surrounded by a billion freshman, all of which insisted on screaming at me that i was on the improv team (thanks, i forgot all about that fact...). we found john, said hello, i was violently poked, and michele and i knew it was time to depart. we began climbing down the stairs and michele (in her caring way) says "be careful, it's wet". "I'm being careful", I respond and no sooner have those words left my lips and i'm thumping down the stairs. ouch. we laughed for a while about it and went AGAIN into the rain. we returned to michele's townhouse to find her roommates in generally good spirits and they taught me to play flip cup (this was of course after we had changed into clothes that were not soaking wet.). michele and jim walked me back to my room because i had to pick up sarah and abby the next day, and i found myself in a mini-hurricane in my room. long story short, my window was "fixed" and i had to sleep in the family room on the futon. grr.

the next day, i was supposed to pick my sister and her friend, abby, up at 30th street at 10:50 am. well, that did not happen. the wires were down all over the place and my parents had to drive them here. meh. saturday was spent hanging out and going to kirks and the townhouses. nik shah even joined us and we had a lovely saturday.

sunday was packed full of fun philly things. first, we went to ritz east with jess, angie, and ali to see "little miss sunshine" (which they had both seen, but they were happy to see it again). GREAT MOVIE...DROP WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND SEE IT. funny, poignent, and highly entertaining. after the movie (where we had some great popcorn), the girls and i walked to south street, and in the process, did some sightseeing. once on south street, we just wanted food, but really couldn't decide on anything. we stopped at shops along the way and we bought some fun shirts and stuff at retrospect. finally we found our lunchtime destination. steaks on south. sarah and i split a cheesesteak with wiz and tomato sauce and abby had a chickencheesesteak with wiz and mushrooms. i love wiz. it was AMAZING. sooo good. we bought some more sassy shirts and some hair accessories before returning to la salle. i went to improv practice, where i played more flip cup and had a great time.

today, the girls returned home, i had some quality time with brandon hood on the subway and i read. a lot. and played with our quad kitty...Ky. (joe named it...not me). it's clean and the nicest cat in the world. if anyone is looking for a friendly kitten who just needs a home, please contact me. it makes me sad everytime i see it because it's so tiny and scared and exposed to the elements. if there was no rule against pets, i would have that cat in my apartment sooo fast. sigh.

there mama. there's your update. :)

i'm peachy!

ps: the title is in reference to the album i bought for decoration at retrospect...it's called "Ernie's Hits" and it's the first track on the B side (and one of my favorite sesame street songs ever. that and "If i Could Live on the Moon".

rain sucks.

so, today it rained. hard. i was going to basil's after my one and only class today and i was drenched within seconds of stepping out side. however, after a brief inspection of my things (phone, notebook, folders) i was fully convinced that i had made it through with no damage.

i was wrong.

i just went into my bag to get something and i pulled out the masque family tree. it's ruined. somehow it got wet and nothing else did. i have no choice now but to make a brand new one. i'm extremely close to a mini-break down right now. last night i was depressed. i don't think there's a word for how i feel at this very moment, looking at my hard work, almost literally down the drain.

i know the tree is stupid and stuff, just don't laugh at me, now that it's ruined. junior year is not starting out the way i had hoped. to be frank, it sucks.

sigh.

sigh.

sigh.

distraught peach.

G2 = home

so, i'm moved back into la salle. i'm sooo happy. there is still A LOT of decorating to be done, but i already feel like this is home. diana and i made my bed, unpacked, and had dinner together. hopefully we're going to basils soon to escape from the opressive heat. there really isn't much to say, except: VISIT G2, LA SALLE APTS. we would love to have visitors to play nintendo and such.

tomorrow is freshman move in, friday is the improv show, friday is also maximum carnage, saturday is MJ's visit, freshman kareoke, and nikki's move in. crystal moves in on sunday and classes begin monday.

IT'S CRAZINESS!!!

sara needs to come back to la salle. i miss her. :(

i'm peachy.

i have returned!

hello all! i have returned from washington state alive and well. i have SO many pictures to show, but since my goal is to move in to la salle on wednesday, i have to wait.

brrrrrief overview of the trip:

wednesday: leave the house at the crack of dawn (1 am) to get to the airport with the 3 hours that travelocity suggested. well, what we didn't know is that the ticket counters don't open until 4:30. hmm. anyway, after finding food, we boarded our 6 am flight to cincinatti. after 45 minutes in cincinatti, we were off to seattle. our first day in seattle was spent catching up with my aunt, cousins, and mary fran (my dad's cousin and my aunt rosemary's best friend). we did some touristy things, but my family was so tired that we were useless.

thursday: shopping! i got the cutest dress at macy's and did some damage at old navy (i know, i go cross country to shop at old navy). we also did the duck tour of seattle, which was awesome. i saw the "sleepless in seattle" house barge and all the sights of this amazing little city. we went to the longest dinner EVER at the old spaghetti factory and crashed early...again. oh those wild mcgees.

friday: since sasha, my cousin, was having her rehearsal dinner that night, we had to make our way to olympia. so, we made our trip by way of mount rainier (the highest point in the continental united states). it was awe inspiring. the pictures don't even do it justice. i wore my new dress to the rehearsal dinner and after wards my family (me, dad, mom, and sarah) went to devin and jacob's house to stay the rest of the trip (they're my cousin and her husband).

saturday: THE BIG DAY! my aunt marlene (sasha and devin's mom) bought us girls mani / pedi's (amazing) and we did that most of the day before the wedding. the wedding was outdoors and had mt. rainier as a backdrop (just like devin and jacobs, which was two years ago). it was a short ceremony, but everyting was amazing and beautiful. the reception was really fun and the food was delicious. this was the first time i've spent any time with chris (sasha's husband), even though he was at devin and jacob's wedding (it was their fourth date...little did we know!). in short, i'm happy to have him in the family. i joked with jacob that chris is my new favorite cousin in law because he spun me during my money dance with him. i'm kidding though...they're both pretty cool. after the wedding, my family was hungry so we went to the store and got some food and watched harry potter.

sunday: sasha and chris didn't leave for their honey moon until monday, so they spent the day at devin and jacob's opening presents and spending time with family. afterwards, sarah, ali, and i went shopping at our favorite oly store, archibald sisters. it has funny and cute stuff in it. then we ordered chinese and after everyone left, my family, devin and jacob (and mac and mo, their cats) watched "benchwarmers". good lord it was bad. jacob and i laughed through the whole thing, but everyone else fell asleep.

monday: we woke up and had to get ready to go to the airport. i chatted with devin for a little bit and she made us sandwiches and lunches to go. it was really great to spend time with them for once. hopefully, they'll becoming out to visit us this next summer, so i'm pretty excited. our flights went well (except for in atlanta, we had storms and had to sit on the runway for a while AND my dad couldn't find any place to eat in the airport because only the pizza joint was open and he doesn't eat cheese). it's 4:37 am...and time for bed.

talk to you all soon, and see most of you in 48 hours or less. :)

i'm peachy!

sigh...

well, things are going better. nothings been said, but i'm just going to be "good daughter" for the next week. i need to get back to philly.

thank god for john and his house. i would have killed someone if i hadn't left the house for a couple hours last night.

going on vacation. update so that i have something to read when i return and should be packing for school.

i'm peachy.

ps: if you don't know me and you have no idea what my situation is, don't comment. weirdos.

Run Away!

my mom just said to my sister (not me), that she may make me pay rent next summer. i have no idea if she's serious or not, but if she is, then i'm not coming back. i refuse to pay to live somewhere where i'm not happy. my mother is such a pain when we go on vacation. i hate going places with her. she is also so judgemental lately that i want to smack her. she says something negative about everyone. she refuses to believe that i'm done packing as well. i wasn't kidding that i wanted to be on top of things. i'm an adult.

where's john, i need to vent more.

boo peachy.

The Waiting Game

I'm currently waiting to see if i'll be going out this evening. i hope so.

work was good today. it went fast.

i'm done packing for seattle.

i'm getting there with packing for la salle.

i bought a stuffed lion today at work. he is currently nameless.

it's hot at my house. and not the good hot. the sweltering, i'm losing weight just by sitting here hot.

i hope i go out tonight. i need to escape my mother once more before seattle

sigh.

i'm peachy.

NOW UPDATE!

I Wanna Be Sedated

I am being tested. Very tested.

In case you didn't know, I am flying to Seattle next Wednesday morning for my oldest cousin's wedding. I don't really like to fly. It scares me a lot. But my doctor gave me a sedative for the last time i flew, and I have some left, which I wasn't sure I was going to use this time. I was feeling very confident about flying just the other day. Today, however, my mental state on air travel has changed just slightly. Apparently, there was a terrorist plot involving airplanes and liquid bombs. In America, they have banned all liquids and gels from carry on lugage, and in Britain, they have banned carry on's all together for the time being. This was also, supposedly, a huge plot, involving around 10 airplanes. They have suggested that people leave their electonics at home, meaning laptops, iPods, etc. I was going to bring my laptop, which I'm now reconsidering to make travel easier for my family and I (no one needs the medicated nut being searched by security). However, I was going to bring my iPod regardless. I need to have my music with me to calm me down and block out all the sounds of the flight. I'll see what's going on Tuesday to make my final decision.

I wish terrorists would stop ruining everyone elses lives. Boo on them.

I'm peachy...sorta.

Heaven is a little closer in a house by the sea - Anon.

I hope you all like the new theme. Only a few people's links were chosen especially for them (john, joanna, george, gwen, liz). everyone else is just a beach i like. i saw the quote on a woman's shirt yesterday at work and after workshopping the concept with john over taco bell, this theme was born.

john and i had our annual special taco bell dinner, which we have had every year before i go off to school, no matter what our status is. it's nice, but it's also a reminder that summer is coming to an end. We had a great time together and I feel better about decisions i've made. Also, as a general annoucement, I plan on staying out of a major relationship this semester. I will die if i try to add one more thing to my plate.

all in all, summer was great. i can't wait for vacation and school to start.

there is so much i could write about, but i don't feel like it.

3 more days of work.

hersheypark tomorrow...alone...well, with my family and my sister's friend.

now i'm off to manda's to see lettie for the first time since june!!

if you have a beach that you like to be and it is not already used, tell me. i'll be glad to change it. :)

i'm sooo peachy. :)

comment!!

9 to 5

so, i work again today...and tomorrow...and tuesday...and thursday. this part time job turned into a semi-full time job very quickly. but i only have 9 days left until the end and seattle. i also just applied for a job at la salle, as a tutor. it was a scary application because a) it required me to look at my transcript and know my gpa and b) it required me to evaluate which subjects i feel qualified to tutor. i almost stopped filling out the form at that point because it was making me feel incompetent. eek.

i was also able to get the music off my computer to my mac last night. it was very exciting.

my room cleaning is going well. i got rid of a whole bunch of clothes and shoes and i feel better about leaving for school soon. i don't want to bring as much as i usually do this year, so i'm making lists and being generally productive. work gets in the way.

i have to start my honors project soon. i just have to dive in so i don't get overwhelmed. before i go to seattle, i have to get a tape recorder so i can interview people. i'm very nervous about it, but i really like my project. the alumni mailing is done, i just need the alumni list from the alumni office (ball has been in their court for 2 weeks now. i already asked for it). sara did a lovely job with the postcard, after i spent 3 months trying to do it myself. finally, i'm starting the final draft of the tree this weekend. i'll finish it during opening week.

HERSHEYPARK ON WEDNESDAY. I HAVE TICKETS FOR $23. IF YOU WANT TO COME, CALL ME. PLEASE. I NEED SOMEONE TO COME WITH ME SO ITS NOT JUST ME AND MY FAMILY.

that is all.

i'm peachy.

to grandmother's house we go...

so, i spent the last few days at my grandparents house, which was lovely and generally relaxing. movies, food, bowling, etc. all made for a good time.

yesterday, i started the long process of overhauling my room. this could take a while. i also went to the camp hill diner with jordan, which was good, except our waitress was a tad overbearing. and weird. why do i attract the weird food servers!!

countdowns for you:

7 days until hersheypark. it's official (aug. 9)
13 days until i'm done with work
14 days until i leave for seattle
19 days until i return from seattle
21 days until i'm back at la salle.

thank goodness.

i'm peachy!

ok kiddies

i'm going to my grandparents house this week until tuesday night. on purpose, i'm not bringing my laptop or whatnot because there are so many other things that i want to get done and my level of productivity at their house is very high, so i do not want to be distracted. they have a computer, but i think i'm staying away from it.

that's all. :)

i'm peachy.

sigh of relief

so, i still kinda mean what i said in my last post. but after a lunch with the fam, i feel a little less passionate about it. i still want to be done having summer breaks here. there's just a lot of stress in this house, and lately we all feel that everyone's stress means nothing and ones stress should own all.

that's all. i'm probably going to go visit paigey today and do some organizing.

mmm...pizza grille. next time any of you visits me, i'll be taking you here for lunch. it's fantastic.

i'm peachy. :)

done

i need out of this house. now. immediately.

i'm 20 years old and i act like it. but i'm treated like a lazy 12 year old. it gets old.

i'm not living here next summer. i guarentee it. there's no way.

not peachy.

Being Christine

so, to start things off, i'm overdue for a journal about my recent outing with "the usual suspects" + james dilts, but i actually just made a movie out of it, and as soon as i can get it uploaded to youtube, we'll be posting that here as well. it's my first movie, so keep that in mind when you watch it. but all in all i'm exceedingly proud of it.

second point: last night, i was so bored that i went over to james' house just to watch some people play "dungeons and dragons". they all made verbal note of this halfway through my visit. it made me realize that i need to go on vacation and go back to school as soon as humanly possible. i did get to gorge myself on peanut butter candy and reeses pieces. and starburst.

third point: sara allen is going on vacation and i will more or less be without a venting partner for the next week plus. sigh.

fourth point: last night, i had the coolest dream. i was performing in my old high school "theatre" and we were putting on a very interesting version of phantom of the opera. john was somehow both male leads (he got to fight himself...), lindsey was that primadonna woman (which is funny to those who know lindsey because she is the most modest and talented singer i know), ryan and pat were mrs. andre and ferment, and i was christine. i only figured out that we were doing phantom because i sang "wishing you were somehow here again" at one point. it also seems that i was going on for someone who needed an understudy, i was an instant sensation. and i got kissed by various boys. for no reason. it was interesting. i also was wearing point shoes throughout the dream and my dress had an issue staying up, especially when the phantom kidnapped me during "don juan".

fifth point: i should talk to paul tsikitas more often...and continue working on my script.

sixth point: i'm in a rut at home. time again to return to school.

seventh point: tomorrow i work, then i go to my oma and pappy's for 2 days. yay!.

i'm peachy. and a tad lonely. not terrible...but you know.

by the by...

my parents have 4 tickets to hersheypark for 23 dollars a piece. my family and i are going on the 10th of August and if you would like to come with, call. you have a place to stay in the mcgee home. you can also contact me if you're simply interested in buying the tickets from us. but i would love to have a friend or three along on that day at the park.

pwease?

pretty please?

i'm peachy.

I may be a Jewish woman...

So, in reading a number of people's posts, I too would like to post a post of self-deprecation.

1. I constantly feel that I fall short of my potential.
2. When I like someone, I show it too eagerly and I feel like I push them away.
3. I feel that boys don't like me "that way" because I'm more of a sister than a potential girlfriend.
4. I act differently around people I don't know that well than around my friends.
5. I have 2 life dreams, but they pull me on different paths.
6. I take my parents opinion on things too seriously and don't live for myself.
7. I would like to move to New York after graduation.
8. I'm too sensitive to people around me. I let perfect strangers get to me in a bad way.
9. I don't like to sleep alone, but If there's someone else in the bed, I can't sleep.
10. When I like a person, I feel like I have to act like a little kid and can't stop myself. It's really annoying.
11. I could be all wrong about how I come off to boys and now they know what I'm thinking.
12. I can be really lazy
13. I wish I could be more like other people.
14. I wish I could tell people how I feel about them. The only people I think who truely know are John and Sara.

i'm peachy

The Soundtrack to my Life: Survey and Real

so, this was survey thing on paul's myspace and i wanted to do both the random version and what i would really make the soundtrack of my life.

Opening Credits: Welcome to the Jungle - Guns 'n' Roses
Waking Up: This Night - Billy Joel
Falling in Love: Sue Me - Guys and Dolls
Fight scene: A Mighty Fortress is Our God - J.S. Bach
Breaking up: In the City - The Eagles
Getting back together: Have I Told You Lately That I Love You? - Rod Stewart
Secret Love: The Night Is Still Young - Billy Joel
Life's okay: Sparkling Diamonds - Moulin Rouge!
Mental breakdown: Mellow Yellow - Donovan
Driving Flashback: Summertime - Mae
Partying: Oompa Loompa (Augustas Gloop) - Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
Happy dance: Don't Panic - Coldplay
Regretting: September - Earth, Wind, and Fire
Final Battle: For Me and My Gal- Judy Garland
Death Scene: I Love You 'Cause I Have To - Dogs Die in Hot Cars
End Credits: Lay Your Hands on Me - Bon Jovi

so, here's what I would REALLY pick for my soundtrack of life.

Opening Credits: Everybody Loves You Now - Billy Joel
Waking Up: Blitzkrieg Bop - The Ramones
Falling in Love: Rhapsody in Blue - George Gershwin
Fight scene: Ring of Fire - Johnny Cash
Breaking up: Immortality - Saturday Night Fever, the Musical
Getting back together: Dream On - Aerosmith
Secret Love: Lucifer - Jay-Z / Say Yes - Elliott Smith (maybe i have more than one!)
Life's okay: High Flying Adored - Evita
Mental breakdown: World's on Fire - Sarah McLaughlin
Driving Flashback: This Train Don't Stop Here Anymore - Elton John
Partying: Judy is a Punk - The Ramones
Happy dance: Something Celtic
Regretting: Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk - Rufus Wainwright
Final Battle: Adiemus - Adiemus (it's on the Pure Moods CD)
Death Scene: Lonely - Tom Waits
End Credits: I Want to Break Free - Queen

I realized while i was doing this, I could do an entire soundtrack with just the beatles, or queen, or ben folds...or even various showtunes.

Please comment. i'm curious to see what people think.

i'm peachy!