dun dun dunnnnnnnn....

so, on sunday last, i asked tom if he could call a special rehearsal to go over the dance for "bring on the men". i worried then that the girls in the cast, minus amy, would hate me if they found out that i had ASKED for it, so i only told melissa. well, the girls were actually happy to be there going over the piece. phew

on tuesday we met at 6:30 and i ran a warm-up, with the assistance of jo anna, because she knows the dance and her's is a little different than ours. after the warm up, we had a brief, but fruitful, lesson in walking in heels, because some mothers failed their daughters in that department (thanks mommy!). much better. then we ran the dance. GOOD LORD! i thought some things were lacking, but when i watched the dance, i was overwhelmed with corrections. so, as a team, we girls started to fix things, alter things, clean things up. I'M REALLY PROUD OF THE DANCERS IN THE SHOW. they worked really hard because they wanted this to work. now, there are still parts that i would love to fix. and one of the major people who didn't have a clue with the dance before is even more behind and it's driving me nuts. stop ruining our perfect dance!!!! so, in the end, although i yelled a lot and earned the nicknames mussolini / machiavelli from tom, and i probably made some girls feel really uncomfortable, it got done. i felt good about the dance, but i wish tom would stop bringing it up that i did a good job because that is not how i would have handled myself normally. frankly i'm a little embarrassed by my methods sometimes. i try really hard to be kind and nice to everyone as much as humanly possible, and to not complain about things (like costumes...if i hear anyone complain about a costume that they themselves did not make (whores are exempt as whores), i will injure them). but on tuesday i was kind of harsh and it's not like i have any real authority. tom just bestowed it on jo anna and i for a 2 hour block.

today, the "real" choreographer comes in. and she'll see her dance, completely altered. tom says that if she says anything, he'll take care of it. i hope she doesn't though, because we left 90% of the choreography alone and just changed formations. if she says anything, i'll probably cry. yeah...i'll definitly cry.

i'll probably cry today anyway because i feel overwhelmed and upset and alone. i have great friends but yet i still have this void in my heart for something. it's hard to fill a 2 and a half year void in 2 months. tomorrow should be good though, since i get to spend time with my friends...watching movies and such.

i'm peachy.