peanut butter cookies and iced tea.

so, no one showed up to my party this afternoon. i invited 23 of my gal pals and not one could show up. am i that pathetic? every second of every day it gets harder and harder to believe that things will get better. all of my roommates went away for the weekend, and what's worse is that one invited another to go home with her, but no one seems to care if i'm here alone for the weekend (i don't really want to go to their houses all that much, but it's the principle of the thing). the guys i have crushses on certainly do not have crushes on me and are going along their merry way without me. the only person that i've ever felt was my best friend doesn't want to talk to me for a while. everyone has too much work, or a boyfriend, or can legally drink and really can't spend time with me. i actually cried in history class on friday. sat at my desk and cried during a quiz. i honestly don't know what would make me happy. i had a good time last night with michele and my new friend maureen, i really did. but somehow i can't get out of this funk no matter what i do. this isn't even a funk anymore. it's something else entirely. well, whatever it is, i hate it.

usually when i say something is going wrong, or when i anticipate that something is going to suck, i'm usually proven wrong. however, in this case...i just keeps getting worse. i'm trying to be optimistic, i really am. my dad told me on the phone today that i should try and keep my chin up, but i out and out said that it's getting very hard to do that, no matter how many people tell me to keep my hopes up, keep my chin up, and my personal favorite (read i hate when people say this), "don't frown, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile". no one is falling in love with my anything.

i hope there's something going on that i can participate in tonight.

maybe god is mad at me. i don't know why me, but maybe. he only gives you what you can handle, but he's really pushing it right now.

i even made iced tea and cookies.

the peach is a very lonely hunter.

ps: the church across the street is having a service outside right now and i really don't care to hear what ever they're saying and screaming. it's annoying. i think this is why i stay catholic.