well, it's 5:30 am and I'm still awake. I tried to go to sleep for a few hours, but it wasn't happening. I have a lot of trouble falling asleep lately, except when Jason's here. I try to fool my mind into thinking that he's here so my body will sleep. I'm still getting used to the noises in my apartment, so those keep me up, wondering if that's the heat, or the neighbors...or something else. I thought I was doing everything right: I have a bedtime routine, I stay away from caffeine the few hours before bed, I try to stay away from the computer for the half hour or so before I try sleeping, I read, I stay out of bed unless it's sleepies...I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I was exhausted today. It was almost impossible to stay alert at work and in class.
It's also effecting my emotions. This morning, when Jason left, I got really upset. I cried and I was acting like a little kid. I hate when he leaves on Monday, or I leave him on Mondays. It's just another reminder that grad school didn't go the way I wanted it to, and that all in all, I'm unhappy with the way this year will go. If it had gone well, then we'd be living somewhere together and wouldn't be dealing with a long distance relationship. this one girl at work complains that she only gets to see her husband for a few hours at night, because she teaches in the morning and goes to school at night. hey, at least at the end of the day, she has someone to fall asleep with. if she complains about it again, i'm going to give her a piece of my mind. some of us have to make real sacrifices to go to school...not just not seeing ones husband enough each day. when I was in undergrad, I only saw Jason at nights during the week. i would have liked to have seen him more, but looking back on it, I would love to see him that often now.
I just want to sleep and be done with this whole thing.
i'm generally peachy (just not right now).
10.28.2008
10.09.2008
Positively Negative.
This past weekend I saw "Nick and Norah's Infinate Playlist" with Miss Emily B., and just like when I saw "Juno" a little less than a year ago, I wanted, nay needed, to have the soundtrack in my possession. Yesterday I finally took a good listen to the album and I found that I really enjoyed it, even without the movie as context. I did this because with a few movies, I think I like the soundtrack for real, but when played alone, it's not quite as fulfilling. "Nick and Norah..." is nothing like this. One particularly enjoyable track is "How to Say Goodbye", which has helped me with my writing...it's funny how music can do that sometimes.
Anyway, I'm on iTunes and I see that people have rated the album. Most people really enjoyed it, but a couple people went out of their ways not only to disparage the album and the movie, but the people who listen or watch them. They also hated on Juno, which I was not pleased about. Where I'm from, the only place to find indie music is in the movies.
What fascinates me is that more people will go out of their way, especially on news message boards, blogs (guilty), and retail rating systems, to say how much they hate something than to say how much they love something. If I don't like something, I try not to give it the time of day, especially if its popular culture. These people must make themselves miserable talking about things they don't like all day.
Just an observation.
I'm peachy.
Anyway, I'm on iTunes and I see that people have rated the album. Most people really enjoyed it, but a couple people went out of their ways not only to disparage the album and the movie, but the people who listen or watch them. They also hated on Juno, which I was not pleased about. Where I'm from, the only place to find indie music is in the movies.
What fascinates me is that more people will go out of their way, especially on news message boards, blogs (guilty), and retail rating systems, to say how much they hate something than to say how much they love something. If I don't like something, I try not to give it the time of day, especially if its popular culture. These people must make themselves miserable talking about things they don't like all day.
Just an observation.
I'm peachy.
10.08.2008
crunchy commentary.
So, I just have a few thoughts about a few different things.
School: I'm ready for next semester. I'm taking some really neat classes, including one where our final project is a documentary. How cool is that? I've always had an interest in film, so this will be nice to have it justified. I'm getting very close to beginning some serious writing, so that is always exciting. This is why I went to grad school; to write. Not only am I writing, I'm writing about topics that I'm very interested in and have always been interested in: Broadway in the 21st century, historical fiction/new journalism, and the impact of the space program in America. I'm also ready to write some smaller papers.
Politics: After seeing Obama last Friday, I am definitely re-energized politically. I'm also reaffirmed in my choice. I need to be less biased when I watch the debates. I want to see my candidate do well, but I also don't want to unnecessarily disparage the other person. The one thing I feel right now is slight disappointment. Both men, prior to the presidential race, were beacons of change and integrity. However, both have compromised their visions and personal character to some extent to win votes. The smear campaigns in both campaigns have to end and we need to get back to the issues. The economic crisis is almost a blessing in disguise (almost...) because it fires up the American public. We have an issue that CANNOT BE IGNORED and that the American people will not allowed to be pushed to the back of their minds. It was quite evident at the town-hall debate last night that the public, and more obviously the undecided voters, are going to force both men to really come up with a plan and lay it out for the American public. The debate last night was also not a good night for both men. Obama should not have asked for more time and stretched the rules of the debate. He signed off on those rules and should have stuck by them. However, I really liked the way he addressed the audience, especially the person who posed the question at hand. He does well talking to an audience in the way he used to teach at the University of Chicago. McCain's conduct at certain times could not have been more deplorable. The little jokes and asides were unnecessary, and he really talked down to the audience at times. I was also disappointed in McCain because this was supposed to be his strong forum, and he could have turned things around for himself. I didn't feel like he did. Both men addressed the issues to about equal extent, although my bias has me seeing one candidate winning over the other. However, that's personal opinion, which is one of the beauties of living in the United States of America. Lately I've been hearing people say that neither candidate is worth a darn, which I disagree with on both counts. I think that sometimes the American public is worn out with having to really research the issues. It has never been so important that the American public honestly take stock of each person and their issues. We are finally taking our citizenship to a new level. The responsibility is not an easy one, but we must take it seriously. With our incredible rights, come extensive responsibility. The founders hoped that their descendants would take politics and government as seriously as they did, and we are really coming through this time.
Exhaustion: I have never been so tired. Last weekend was simply a whirlwind of awesome opportunities and good times with friends, so I wouldn't trade it for the world. However, I'm tired. I slept 10 hours last night by accident, but I usually wouldn't sleep that long, so I guess I needed it. On that note, I'm beginning to feel really fulfilled. My friendships are getting deeper, my relationship with my family is better. Sleep is overrated sometimes. I'm sure Jason would disagree, but his excess sleep habits give me some alone time to do work. I've been reading some incredible books for class and brainstorming papers. It's a good thing.
Creative Projects: I'm re-embracing my creative side. My scrapbooks are coming along well, but I'm out of pictures and supplies, so that's on hold. I also had an incredible idea for a story, so that's nice. I consider my term papers creative projects as well, so those are top priority. They will get me to conferences next semester, so they have to be really kick-ass. I have the chance to go to New Orleans (a big If...but who knows) for the Pop Culture Conference. I'll probably also go to the Mid-Atlantic American Studies Conference.
I'm going to Philly for the third weekend in a row on Friday. I love going to Philly, but it is also a tad exhausting because of travel and the lack of work I get done. I may also be getting sick, which is always fun. Blah. Time for paper writing.
I'm peachy.
School: I'm ready for next semester. I'm taking some really neat classes, including one where our final project is a documentary. How cool is that? I've always had an interest in film, so this will be nice to have it justified. I'm getting very close to beginning some serious writing, so that is always exciting. This is why I went to grad school; to write. Not only am I writing, I'm writing about topics that I'm very interested in and have always been interested in: Broadway in the 21st century, historical fiction/new journalism, and the impact of the space program in America. I'm also ready to write some smaller papers.
Politics: After seeing Obama last Friday, I am definitely re-energized politically. I'm also reaffirmed in my choice. I need to be less biased when I watch the debates. I want to see my candidate do well, but I also don't want to unnecessarily disparage the other person. The one thing I feel right now is slight disappointment. Both men, prior to the presidential race, were beacons of change and integrity. However, both have compromised their visions and personal character to some extent to win votes. The smear campaigns in both campaigns have to end and we need to get back to the issues. The economic crisis is almost a blessing in disguise (almost...) because it fires up the American public. We have an issue that CANNOT BE IGNORED and that the American people will not allowed to be pushed to the back of their minds. It was quite evident at the town-hall debate last night that the public, and more obviously the undecided voters, are going to force both men to really come up with a plan and lay it out for the American public. The debate last night was also not a good night for both men. Obama should not have asked for more time and stretched the rules of the debate. He signed off on those rules and should have stuck by them. However, I really liked the way he addressed the audience, especially the person who posed the question at hand. He does well talking to an audience in the way he used to teach at the University of Chicago. McCain's conduct at certain times could not have been more deplorable. The little jokes and asides were unnecessary, and he really talked down to the audience at times. I was also disappointed in McCain because this was supposed to be his strong forum, and he could have turned things around for himself. I didn't feel like he did. Both men addressed the issues to about equal extent, although my bias has me seeing one candidate winning over the other. However, that's personal opinion, which is one of the beauties of living in the United States of America. Lately I've been hearing people say that neither candidate is worth a darn, which I disagree with on both counts. I think that sometimes the American public is worn out with having to really research the issues. It has never been so important that the American public honestly take stock of each person and their issues. We are finally taking our citizenship to a new level. The responsibility is not an easy one, but we must take it seriously. With our incredible rights, come extensive responsibility. The founders hoped that their descendants would take politics and government as seriously as they did, and we are really coming through this time.
Exhaustion: I have never been so tired. Last weekend was simply a whirlwind of awesome opportunities and good times with friends, so I wouldn't trade it for the world. However, I'm tired. I slept 10 hours last night by accident, but I usually wouldn't sleep that long, so I guess I needed it. On that note, I'm beginning to feel really fulfilled. My friendships are getting deeper, my relationship with my family is better. Sleep is overrated sometimes. I'm sure Jason would disagree, but his excess sleep habits give me some alone time to do work. I've been reading some incredible books for class and brainstorming papers. It's a good thing.
Creative Projects: I'm re-embracing my creative side. My scrapbooks are coming along well, but I'm out of pictures and supplies, so that's on hold. I also had an incredible idea for a story, so that's nice. I consider my term papers creative projects as well, so those are top priority. They will get me to conferences next semester, so they have to be really kick-ass. I have the chance to go to New Orleans (a big If...but who knows) for the Pop Culture Conference. I'll probably also go to the Mid-Atlantic American Studies Conference.
I'm going to Philly for the third weekend in a row on Friday. I love going to Philly, but it is also a tad exhausting because of travel and the lack of work I get done. I may also be getting sick, which is always fun. Blah. Time for paper writing.
I'm peachy.
9.30.2008
9.22.2008
Rainbow Shrimp and Chicken
Ok, so it's been weeks since I updated this blog for real. Things have generally evened out. I still live for the weekend, but there are also times when I look forward to going to school. Danielle and I have gotten close, but again it's a relationship that pretty much stays at work. Shantae and I hang out at home over TV, which is fun. We watch the trashiest stuff we can find, and reality TV usually wins out over everything else.
Classes are interesting. I love 2 of my classes, probably because the professor is the same for both those classes. He's just a really good teacher, but lets us do most of the actual teaching. My other 2 classes suck. A lot. They are a downright joke and it's a good thing I'm not really paying for them. In these two classes, I've watched more movies and videos than in most of my undergrad career...and I took "Film as Art"! I'm getting ready to sign up for my Spring 2009 classes, and I'm really looking forward to the professors I'll have. Dr. K will be on sabbatical, but is still helping me with my thesis. However, the three professors that I will have next come with high recommendation from Dr. K himself. I feel a lot better about the next semester and to a new set of challenges.
I went to my cousin Liz's wedding this weekend. We had a fantastic time. I caught the bouquet (read: it hit me in the stomach and I had to catch it) and Jason caught the garter (read: picked it up off the floor to save me any embarrassment). So, that was fun. We drank, we danced, we reveled in the family love. It was nice. I was able to re-connect a little with Liz, with a promise to hang-out soon, and connect better with my cousin Kevin and his fiancee Danielle, who live down the street from Jason.
I'll be in Philly this weekend. I got a new dishwasher. I scrapbooked a lot this weekend. My life is really just grad school, Philly, friends, and Jason...and I'm OK with that. :)
I'm peachy.
Classes are interesting. I love 2 of my classes, probably because the professor is the same for both those classes. He's just a really good teacher, but lets us do most of the actual teaching. My other 2 classes suck. A lot. They are a downright joke and it's a good thing I'm not really paying for them. In these two classes, I've watched more movies and videos than in most of my undergrad career...and I took "Film as Art"! I'm getting ready to sign up for my Spring 2009 classes, and I'm really looking forward to the professors I'll have. Dr. K will be on sabbatical, but is still helping me with my thesis. However, the three professors that I will have next come with high recommendation from Dr. K himself. I feel a lot better about the next semester and to a new set of challenges.
I went to my cousin Liz's wedding this weekend. We had a fantastic time. I caught the bouquet (read: it hit me in the stomach and I had to catch it) and Jason caught the garter (read: picked it up off the floor to save me any embarrassment). So, that was fun. We drank, we danced, we reveled in the family love. It was nice. I was able to re-connect a little with Liz, with a promise to hang-out soon, and connect better with my cousin Kevin and his fiancee Danielle, who live down the street from Jason.
I'll be in Philly this weekend. I got a new dishwasher. I scrapbooked a lot this weekend. My life is really just grad school, Philly, friends, and Jason...and I'm OK with that. :)
I'm peachy.
9.04.2008
208 in 2008
Check out the "Magoo's Manifest Destiny" link for my incredible list of goals for the next 2008 days. I need suggestions for another, oh...116 or so goals. :)
I'm going to do a lot with this list...probably compile the blog entries together at the end and see if someone will publish it with the pictures...maybe?
I'm peachy!
http://megan-colleen.blogspot.com/ <----- that's the link!
I'm going to do a lot with this list...probably compile the blog entries together at the end and see if someone will publish it with the pictures...maybe?
I'm peachy!
http://megan-colleen.blogspot.com/ <----- that's the link!
8.28.2008
scenic view of tmi.
well hello bloggers. i'm sorry i left for so long. i'm finally in my new apartment, and shantae and i only got internet on monday.
so, the grad school adventure has begun. it's only been a week and a half, so any judgement i have is not fully correct. right now, i'm not as happy as i would hope. grad school is very lonely, especially at psu harrisburg. the campus was founded to cater to the working adult. i'm a baby here, in terms of grad students. i've only met one other student who is fresh from her undergrad. everyone else seems to be much older. almost everyone i meet is married, and even has kids (or in the case of my fellow amst assistant, brant, having a baby on tuesday). there is no real community. people come, take class, and leave. shantae and i were talking about that tonight. we heard about a comedy show on campus and wanted to take that in, but we couldn't find the community center. there is one place to eat on campus, resident or otherwise. the people seem nice enough, just too busy to be looking for friends. i'm sorta friends with brant, who is growing on me, and i'm definitely friends with shantae...she's awesome. but otherwise, i'm alone most of the time. thank god for fred and seth, who i see periodically and they really make my day. i love my professors and the people in the amst and humanities departments, but i'm not terribly impressed with some of the students. oh well. i'll just own, that's all.
the weekends really are my lifeboat. i either get to go to philly and see everyone (2 weeks guys!) or jason comes home and we spend the weekend at the apartment, or with friends. i've been getting very stressed out lately, and my computer is acting up again. i know i've been afforded this amazing experience, but i can't help but get meloncholy almost everyday. i just keep telling myself...just a year, just a year. in one year, i will have a master's degree in american studies and i can really get on with my life. i have no idea what i'll do, but i know better what i will not do. i will NOT sit in an office. i can't deal. I need to be doing something more. i need to teach, or dance or something...we'll figure that out. hopefully my advisors will help me with that.
i'm peachy.
ps: in reference to my title: i really do have a lovely view of tmi from my porch, and planes fly realllly low over psu to land at hia. it's crazy.
so, the grad school adventure has begun. it's only been a week and a half, so any judgement i have is not fully correct. right now, i'm not as happy as i would hope. grad school is very lonely, especially at psu harrisburg. the campus was founded to cater to the working adult. i'm a baby here, in terms of grad students. i've only met one other student who is fresh from her undergrad. everyone else seems to be much older. almost everyone i meet is married, and even has kids (or in the case of my fellow amst assistant, brant, having a baby on tuesday). there is no real community. people come, take class, and leave. shantae and i were talking about that tonight. we heard about a comedy show on campus and wanted to take that in, but we couldn't find the community center. there is one place to eat on campus, resident or otherwise. the people seem nice enough, just too busy to be looking for friends. i'm sorta friends with brant, who is growing on me, and i'm definitely friends with shantae...she's awesome. but otherwise, i'm alone most of the time. thank god for fred and seth, who i see periodically and they really make my day. i love my professors and the people in the amst and humanities departments, but i'm not terribly impressed with some of the students. oh well. i'll just own, that's all.
the weekends really are my lifeboat. i either get to go to philly and see everyone (2 weeks guys!) or jason comes home and we spend the weekend at the apartment, or with friends. i've been getting very stressed out lately, and my computer is acting up again. i know i've been afforded this amazing experience, but i can't help but get meloncholy almost everyday. i just keep telling myself...just a year, just a year. in one year, i will have a master's degree in american studies and i can really get on with my life. i have no idea what i'll do, but i know better what i will not do. i will NOT sit in an office. i can't deal. I need to be doing something more. i need to teach, or dance or something...we'll figure that out. hopefully my advisors will help me with that.
i'm peachy.
ps: in reference to my title: i really do have a lovely view of tmi from my porch, and planes fly realllly low over psu to land at hia. it's crazy.
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