the title is a warning. i'm angry because i have to go to work. on father's day. when almost everyone else is off, enjoying the weather, i'm at work until 7. but the mall closes at 5? oh, we have to move everything from the front of the store to the back so that the workers can put carpet and paint in on monday. then i have to come in on monday and move everything to the front, if they finish ontime. then on tuesday, we move everything back. whatever.
i'm also mad at myself about the way i acted at the end of the semester. i ruined something that was going in the right direction. because we both had one bad night at the same time, i may have destroyed something that was great and wonderful and made me endlessly happy. and now i think about it all the time. all the time. it makes me more angry than i've ever been in my entire life. i want to scream and cry every second, but i really can't because i'm too busy to have time for myself. i just miss him. that's all. sigh. sigh. sigh. and i've hurt john too, so not only have i hurt myself, which sucks, i hurt the one person that i care about more than myself. why would i do that? why?! i'm so dumb. i just want to spend lazy days with john and go back to the way things were in march. has it been that long since i started on my selfish, life ruining rampage?
well, i have to be done now because i have to go to stupid work. i hate work so much right now.
not peachy.
also, please don't comment on this entry. if you're truly concerned, you can call or email me. otherwise don't.
additionally, this is especially to my friends at home, please stop making jokes about "are they together? are they apart?". it's not funny. at all. i'm mad enough at myself about it without people who don't know any details making jokes.
No comments:
Post a Comment