so, it's been quite a week. i've spent most of it fighting with my allergies in the prop room (which looks b-e-a-utiful, if i do say so myself). Tomorrow is more records stuff and finishing things for the summer in the office. Hopefully I'll see my Mama on Saturday before I go home.
I do not want to go home. It's going to be even worse than last summer. There are a number of reasons, but one of them is that most of my friends will be completely unavailable to me either by physical distance, emotional distance, or they simply do not want to be around me. It looks like I'll be spending summer 2006 with my parents...again. Don't get me wrong, they're fun people. But what 20 year old with a car and no curfew wants to be carted around by her parents and their friends while your 17 year old sister has a healthy social life?
It's been two days since I've talked to John. This makes me very sad, and I wish it all didn't have to be this way. But he wants time to heal, and I have to accept that. I want him to heal, but I wish it didn't mean being cut off from him. This will also make summer more diffucult. Even though we weren't together last summer, we could still spend one-on-one time. I know it won't be that way this summer and that's not good for me. He was one of the only people that would hang out with me. No one else called me up. He wanted to be around me. I feel like I have to beg other people at home to spend time with me, but he wanted to. With the way I've been acting, I have a feeling no one will now.
sigh...sorry for the pitty party. No one who really reads this can do anything about it anyway.
meh.
1 comment:
You won't be completely alone this summer. You can always call any of us, you know that. And we'll make plans to hit Hershey - and maybe you can come down or I can come up for a weekend and either you can chill in Manayunk or I can experience the wonder that is our state capital (never been...believe it or not).
Cheer up! Things will get better. And we shall plan breakfast for tomorrow!
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